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O_o_Be_Creepy_o_O Group Title

Okay some poems. Please read :)

  • 3 years ago
  • 3 years ago

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  1. O_o_Be_Creepy_o_O Group Title
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    In the beginning, of it all You always remembered, to give a call Mommy and daddy together no more Somehow I thought, you'd walk through the door And now we hardly ever speak And a daddy now, do I seek. I don't know why you cease to care I don't know why you weren't ever there You left me wondering what I did You left me there, just a kid. Daddy I hurt, because of you Daddy please, what did I do? Did I deserve what I went through? Why are you an mommy apart? I thought you loved her, with all your heart. Today mommy told me why you weren't there Today I learned, why you didn't care. Daddy you are stuck, in the past Because of you, I grew up fast You never became an adult Never mastered, that occult. But somehow I still love you No matter what you put me through.

    • 3 years ago
  2. O_o_Be_Creepy_o_O Group Title
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    I cried tonight You weren't here Couldn't kiss me better I cried tonight You weren't here Couldn't hold me close I cried tonight You weren't here Couldn't wipe my tears I cried tonight I cried for you I need you here by my side I need to be held by you I cried tonight I cried for you Nobody makes me smile like you do Nobody makes me laugh this hard Nobody says the things you do They don't make me feel this safe Nobody has my love but you So I cried tonight I cried for you Your gone, not here when i need you Tears run down my face, I need your voice Need you to make it better Please make my pain go away Use your love to make it okay I cried tonight I cried. For you.

    • 3 years ago
  3. hittu Group Title
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    grt could be made into a sad lullaby

    • 3 years ago
  4. O_o_Be_Creepy_o_O Group Title
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    Yea they both could. But until i get mah piano i cant publish them any further >:(

    • 3 years ago
  5. gandalfwiz Group Title
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    really liked them, esp. the first one.

    • 3 years ago
  6. BlackholeMind Group Title
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    First one is pretty good! The first two parts of it are a bit awkward, but the rest is great. The second one is an ambiguous lament. Adding an interesting title to make the listener try to make subtle imaginations can increase the intrigue. It might be good as a slow ballad or something. I'm thinking Celine Dion. A bit more variety in the first stanza's B-lines might also be good, like you have in your C-lines. (You weren't here, You weren't there, You weren't around, etc..) Keep writing :)

    • 3 years ago
  7. O_o_Be_Creepy_o_O Group Title
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    Haha These are pretty old. My writing has progressed much more than this. But thanks :)

    • 3 years ago
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