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The following thesis is flawed. In the box below, write a stronger thesis for the same topic. Flawed Thesis: In this essay I am going to talk about social problems in Germany.

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This essay will discuss a range of social problems. It will focus upon the German state. ?
but really, the thesis is most likely flawed because it is too general. what kind of problems: socioeconomic, cultural, racial? you can't really talk about ALL the problems in germany however, if i had to write a thesis it would be: In this essay I will discuss a variety of social dilemas the German state faces today.
Also, don't ever use the first person in an essay or paper about non-personal things.

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Other answers:

What Bleakz said, "In this essay I am going to talk about..." makes the thesis bad already. Just state what you're going to try to prove with your essay, then follow it up with the body. Ex: "WWII led to social problems in Germany that are still fought over today," or whatever you're talking about.
Is it modern Germany? Germany during the 1920s? What caused the social problems? Delete the "In this essay" and definitely do not substitute "This essay will discuss...." for it. ugh. A terrible start that reveals a lack of serious thought.

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