anonymous
  • anonymous
The following thesis is flawed. In the box below, write a stronger thesis for the same topic. Flawed Thesis: In this essay I am going to talk about social problems in Germany.
Writing
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SOLVED
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
katieb
  • katieb
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anonymous
  • anonymous
This essay will discuss a range of social problems. It will focus upon the German state. ?
anonymous
  • anonymous
but really, the thesis is most likely flawed because it is too general. what kind of problems: socioeconomic, cultural, racial? you can't really talk about ALL the problems in germany however, if i had to write a thesis it would be: In this essay I will discuss a variety of social dilemas the German state faces today.
anonymous
  • anonymous
Also, don't ever use the first person in an essay or paper about non-personal things.

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anonymous
  • anonymous
What Bleakz said, "In this essay I am going to talk about..." makes the thesis bad already. Just state what you're going to try to prove with your essay, then follow it up with the body. Ex: "WWII led to social problems in Germany that are still fought over today," or whatever you're talking about.
anonymous
  • anonymous
Is it modern Germany? Germany during the 1920s? What caused the social problems? Delete the "In this essay" and definitely do not substitute "This essay will discuss...." for it. ugh. A terrible start that reveals a lack of serious thought.

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