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a123 Group Title

Is this sentence written correctly? "Strolling along the road with my cousin avoiding the man size cracks, I found my way to the gyro shop, where I ordered a chicken gyro sandwich; I dug my teeth into the gyro overwhelmed by the warmness. "

  • 3 years ago
  • 3 years ago

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  1. allyj6 Group Title
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    How about "I found my way to the gyro shop after strolling along the road with my cousin avoiding the man sized cracks in the (pavement? etc). Upon arriving, I ordered a chicken gyro sandwich. As soon as I dug my teeth into my meal, I was overwhelmed by the warmness." You had a few grammatical errors and the semicolon was used incorrectly I believe...and I suggest using another word for warmness?

    • 3 years ago
  2. FrannyBlue Group Title
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    Strolling along the road, avoiding man-size cracks, my cousin and I found our way to the gyro shop. I ordered a chicken gyro, digging my teeth into the overwhelming warmth. Does your cousin have to be in the sentence? Does it have to be one sentence? It's wordy and not as precise as it could be.

    • 3 years ago
  3. a123 Group Title
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    yeah it has to involve a family member, be in once sentence, and include a semicolon

    • 2 years ago
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