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Greetings all! A family member of mine was given an assignment to write a scientific essay and I told him I would help him to revise it. I have received his essay and it needs much work. Could someone help me in this revision please?

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I am well aware of what is not his words and will make it known to him
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Yes, I got it. I cleaned up the writing and the science is solid. It does need a concluding paragraph - just two or three sentence to the effect that while treatment for MS has advanced in recent years, the cause of the disease is still unknown and no permanent cure exists.
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Not a problem; hope the paper's good!

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