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mridul1

Hi everyone, I need help in writing the essay for the college application form. Please review it and suggest me ways to improve it. Thanks a lot

  • 2 years ago
  • 2 years ago

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  1. mridul1
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    these are the short essays or answers in the MIT form that I need to fill up- 1.We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer: I like playing guitar, singing , running, exercising, reading about things i'm not acquainted of. I've a passion to try something new, daring to do the tasks which others often fear or deny, petting animals and helping them in every way possible, helping my friends or anyone who is in need of help. Pushing my own physical and mental limits to achieve what I think of achieving, Keep looking for ways to stay positive and help others be positive in life. I qualified two exams namely MCSE and CCNA (Networking) at the age of 9, since then i've been focusing on broadening my knowledge and different aspects of life. 2.Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer): I really like studying physics and applying it wherever i can. I would like to major in Physics(8.01) , as its the most appealing and interesting subject to me. I am also interested in Computers, Fitness, Music . But my first priority would be Physics. I find the classes(through OCW) extremely knowledgeable and it feeds my hunger for real knowledge. The classes make me realize about why things happen from the very root of it, giving it a logic behind it. It makes me feel enlightened to be able to know things that way. 3.What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words): I've been helping others around me no matter they were humans or animals since i was small, others praise me for it(but its kind of important, not let it reach my head). I feel happy helping others, doing good for others. I am also chosen as the leader of various groups and teams, as I can manage others and motivate them as well without using force. I like being introduced to new and rather unknown(sometimes weird) ideas . I also like suggesting such ideas, I try desperately to know about things which I am interested in, at that very moment. I try to make others happy till I am with them, because we can enjoy life when we're ready to grab the opportunities, rather than losing hope and let our opportunities pass by. It's unnatural for me to join fights or quarrels happening around me, instead i don't support or oppose any side of the quarrel.My most important attribute which has helped me always, is the ability to understand things(regardless of its complexity or simplicity) rather quickly and profoundly. In leisure time I like spending my time doing something productive or rather creative, like sketching the ideas i keep thinking of and analyze, if it has any realistic meaning to it. 4.Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words) 5.Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words) : My dad made me skip two classes(or grades) in school because of very high grades. After skipping it still didn't effect my performance but as i progressed further I started to struggle to keep up with my classmates. Till this day whichever class I study in or visit , I'm always the youngest. I have a partial disability(one distorted ear) since my birth , along with that I also had hard time learning how to speak. I've had language learning problems, I've surpassed it now although. I couldn't write as fast as my classmates at class, I had very low grades and also it took me more effort to learn the same thing which others could learn with ease. I think that's the reason why I can learn things quite easily now as I've adjusted to my environment and surroundings. I'm quite weak in writing essays as you can see, I couldn't figure out what to and how to write the questions 4 and 5. I've already got the point that I won't get into a college like MIT if I submit answers like these. Please help me out, I've no other place to get guidance from. I am really thankful to all of you for taking time to review the answers. Thanks a lot friends..

    • 2 years ago
  2. neverforgetvivistee
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    YES

    • 2 years ago
  3. neverforgetvivistee
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    2. interested in Computers, Fitness, Music it should be AND music

    • 2 years ago
  4. neverforgetvivistee
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    I've been helping others around me no matter they were humans or animals since i was small, others praise me for it fix this

    • 2 years ago
  5. neverforgetvivistee
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    No matter if they're humans or animals

    • 2 years ago
  6. mridul1
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    oh ok

    • 2 years ago
  7. neverforgetvivistee
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    I feel happy helping others, doing good for others. ew

    • 2 years ago
  8. neverforgetvivistee
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    I can manage others and motivate them as well without using force remove the as in: I can manage others and motivate them well without using force

    • 2 years ago
  9. mridul1
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    I've been helping others around me regardless of them being humans or animals since my childhood, others praise me for it - does this sound ok?

    • 2 years ago
  10. neverforgetvivistee
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    not sure about that comma there... maybe an and? i don't know but a comma is not the best

    • 2 years ago
  11. mridul1
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    oh right

    • 2 years ago
  12. neverforgetvivistee
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    "I also like suggesting such ideas, I try desperately to know about things which I am interested in, at that very moment. I try to make others happy till I am with them, because we can enjoy life when we're ready to grab the opportunities, rather than losing hope and let our opportunities pass by. It's unnatural for me to join fights or quarrels happening around me, instead i don't support or oppose any side of the quarrel." -this doesn't make sense. Who is "them" if you're talking about the people in your first sentence, then put this sentence right after the sentence you mentioned them. You went off topic by saying "I like being introduced to new and rather unknown(sometimes weird) ideas . I also like suggesting such ideas, I try desperately to know about things which I am interested in, at that very moment." Also, remove the comma before "at that very moment"

    • 2 years ago
  13. neverforgetvivistee
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    There's a lot to fix. Just try to put your personality in it because it's bland (no offense.) Here's a writing guide because i'm not that good at writing and i'll probably mess you up with I try to help you lol http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/

    • 2 years ago
  14. mridul1
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    I understand :P thanks anyways ^^

    • 2 years ago
  15. neverforgetvivistee
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    NP good luck

    • 2 years ago
  16. mridul1
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    thankyou

    • 2 years ago
  17. megaroozoo
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    "I've been helping others around me regardless of them being humans or animals since my childhood, others praise me for it" instead of using a comma there, use a semicolon instead. (;)

    • 2 years ago
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