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I need help for someone to see my introduction of an essay and tell me if its good help PLEASE!!

Writing
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I'l help(:
thanks
Nelly is a minor character who continues to develop throughout the novel. Nelly has been loyalty and disapproval towards many characters in Wuthering Heights. Nelly has lived all her life in the moors, has grown up with Hindley and Catherine, and has helped the Earnshaw family since her childhood. Living with the Earnshaw family had made Nelly aware of who each character is. Nelly develops from a simple housekeeper into a mother to Hareton and has learned to love him. When Nelly says “He held the knife in his hand, and pushed it’s point between my teeth; but, for my part, I was never much afraid of his vagaries.”, here we see Nelly is not scared of Hindley and has developed to understand each characters personality. Nelly uses Audacious and wrathful tone to go from a angry moment toward Hareton to a brave tone showing him she is not frightened by him. Throughout Nelly’s point of view the reader could see her development as a character as one character that does not usually allow the reader to be pulled into the conflicts that the rest of the characters embroil themselves in. She is able to stand back from the situation and give sound advice. Nelly uses various figurative language techniques, tone, and point of view as her development as a character that has become a stronger character since she was introduced until this point in the following passage. this is my introduction how does it sound??

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I'm going to revise your introduction and post the corrected result underneath this. One second, please.
thanks Ducky_Fresh:)
Nelly is a minor character who continues to *change* throughout the novel. Nelly has been *loyal and disapproving* l towards many characters in Wuthering Heights. Nelly has lived all her life in the moors, has grown up with Hindley and Catherine, and has helped the Earnshaw family since *she was a child*. Living with the Earnshaw family *has* made Nelly aware of who each character is. Nelly *transforms* from a simple housekeeper *to* a mother to Hareton and has learned to love him. When Nelly says, “He held the knife in his hand, and pushed *its* point between my teeth; but, for my part, I was never much afraid of his vagaries,” we see Nelly is not scared of Hindley and has *come* to understand each characters personality. Nelly uses *an audacious* and wrathful tone to go from *being angry with* Hareton to *holding* a brave tone showing him she is not frightened by him. *With* Nelly’s point of view the reader could see her development as a character that does not usually allow the reader to be pulled into the conflicts that the rest of the characters embroil themselves in. She is able to stand back from the situation and give sound advice. Nelly uses various figurative language techniques, tone, and point of view. She has become a stronger character since she was introduced. That's my revision.(:
Thanks angel peach for your help I appreciate it a lot:))
No problem glad to help(:
Nelly is a minor character who continues to develop throughout the novel. Nelly has been loyal and disapproved of many characters in Wuthering Heights. She has lived all of her life in the moors, has grown up with Hindley and Catherine, and has helped the Earnshaw family since her childhood. Living with the Earnshaw family made Nelly aware of who each character is. Nelly is at first a simple housekeeper, but becomes a mother to Hareton and learns to love him. When Nelly says “He held the knife in his hand, and pushed its point between my teeth; but, for my part, I was never much afraid of his vagaries,” here we see Nelly is not scared of Hindley and has developed to understand each characters' personality. Nelly first uses an audacious and wrathful tone, chastising Hareton, before converting into a braver tone to display that she does not fear him. Through Nelly’s point of view the reader could see her development as a character; she is portrayed as a character that does not usually allow the reader to be pulled into the conflicts that the rest of the characters embroil themselves in. She is able to stand back from the situation and give sound advice. Nelly uses various figurative language techniques, tones, and points of view in her development as a character that has become stronger since she was introduced until this point in the following passage.
I believe that should be about it.
Thank you Ducky fresh you helped me a lot.
can you guys help me more please??
What would you like help with? There's a lot going on in that intro paragraph as you have it, by the way. It may be that you should tease out some of those ideas, developing them more, so that this one very dense and terse paragraph becomes two or three or four paragraphs. What is your thesis for the paper?

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