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halo1996

can someone check over this and tell me how to make it better, how to fix things, and what not.

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

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  1. halo1996
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    Me and my brother decided to have a race to the end of the block. As I started to tighten my shoes, my brother decides to get all cocky saying “i can do this with my eyes closed.” I laugh and ask him if hes ready to get whooped? Yeah right he replyed. Ready.... set... GO! As we bolt down the sidewalk, it looks as tho I am running much faster then him. He then decides to run on the grass so he gets better traction. Were both neck and neck. Just then a mini van pulls out of the garage a couple houses ahead of us. My little brother sees it and runs at an angle back to the sidewalk, he cuts me off in the process. So now hes taking the lead, and we only have a few houses left till the end of the block. He begins to be cocky again and starts jogging. So in my mind, I think I have to beat him, or Ill never live it down. I get this jolt of adrenaline/energy and start to catch up and we reach neck and neck again. One more house till the end, im down to the final leep... I am Victorious! As were catching our breath my brother is like lets do it again. I want a rematch! And just then I started to laugh again.

    • one year ago
  2. Miss_Deva
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    One day my brother and I decided to have a race to the end of the block. As I started to tighten my shoes, my brother decided to get all cocky. "I can do this with my eyes closed.” He bragged . Laughing at his smugness, I asked him if he was ready to get whooped. "Yeah right" He replied as he lined up next to me. I counted to three before shooting,"Ready.... set... GO! " and we both took off hurling down the sidewalk.

    • one year ago
  3. halo1996
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    thanks does the other part need to be fixed???

    • one year ago
  4. Miss_Deva
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    I can run over it but it might take me a sec. :)

    • one year ago
  5. halo1996
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    alright thanks :)

    • one year ago
  6. Miss_Deva
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    No problem. :)

    • one year ago
  7. Miss_Deva
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    As we bolt down the sidewalk, it looks as tho I am winning the race when suddenly he decides to run onto the grass to get better traction. Now neck to neck, we pumped our lags faster when suddenly a mini van pulls out of the garage a couple houses ahead of us. Seeing the van, my brother starts to run at an angle back to the sidewalk, cutting me off in the process and taking the lead. With only a few blocks left ahead of us, he begins to get cocky and starts to jog slowly, taunting me. Knowing that if he wins I'll never be able to live it down, I summed up the last of my energy and willed my legs to go faster, catching up to him in the process. Seeing one more house till the finish line, I took one final leap and past the finish line.I am Victorious!

    • one year ago
  8. Miss_Deva
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    *Seeing one more house till the end, I took one final leap and past the finish line.I am Victorious!

    • one year ago
  9. lanre
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    My brother and I decided to run to the end of the block. As I started to lace my shoes, my brother started to get all cocky. He boasted that he could run past me with his eyes closed. I laughed and asked him if he was ready to be whooped. He replied in the affirmative. After the count of three, we both took off and run down the sidewalk.

    • one year ago
  10. Miss_Deva
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    As were are catch our breath, my brother proclaims, "I want a rematch!" And just then I started to laugh again.

    • one year ago
  11. Miss_Deva
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    catching*

    • one year ago
  12. Miss_Deva
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    Hope this helps. :)

    • one year ago
  13. halo1996
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    thanks. it really did... :)

    • one year ago
  14. Miss_Deva
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    I'm glad I could help! ^-^

    • one year ago
  15. Miss_Deva
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    Let me think...

    • one year ago
  16. Miss_Deva
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    How about: "Ready,set,GO!"

    • one year ago
  17. Miss_Deva
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    I'm not really that good at titles. :P

    • one year ago
  18. halo1996
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    thats good. it works thanks so much

    • one year ago
  19. Miss_Deva
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    Your welcome. :)

    • one year ago
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