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There is a significant problem in our society. It is the use of tobacco products particularly, teenagers. I believe that smoking cigarettes as a teenagers will now and later in life cause problems for that person. At least 4.5 million kids smoke in the United States Smoking causes health problems like respiratory illnesses with cough and increased phlegm production. Smoking slows down lung growth and decreases lung function. It can even cause abnormal lipid profiles. About 440,000 United States people die every year from complications related to smoking. Teenagers start smoking because some one they know smokes or from advertising. The person they know may be a older brother or some one they admire. Using tobacco can lead to using alcohol and other drugs. It can lead to behavior problems like fighting. Theses behavior problems may get the teenager kicked out of school. With out graduating from high school, the job market is very limited. Most smokers start before they turn 21. Once they start, it is difficult to stop. Many people both teenagers and adults would like to quit smoking, but cant. It is an addiction that costs them money and there health. Since most smokers start as teenagers, I feel they should never begin. Teenagers need to consider the problems they will face, once they start. Maybe they need to consider the consequences.
1. Ideas: Make sure especially that the argument makes sense to you and that the supporting evidence is sufficient and logical. 2. Organization: Make sure the organization of the essay as a whole and each individual paragraph flows and makes sense to you. 3. Sentence Fluency: Are the sentences interesting to read, and do they flow smoothly? Are the sentences varied in structure and length? 4. Conventions: What errors do you see. Be specific.
Ok hers some answers 1. Everything is Logical.. Good job ! 2. Good Organization everything is grouped together well. 3. Paragraph 4 uses the wrong kind of "there" it should be "their health" Othere than that it looks good. 4.I stated the error other that that it looks great :)
no problem :)
do you know how to do the 6+1 rubric thing???
i have a link if you could look at it and base the paper off of that?sory i was suppost to find someone to grade this for me but im home schooled and stuff.. http://www.uen.org/Rubric/rubric.cgi?rubric_id=1082
Id give you %'s all the way accept for that word.. but it dont matter
% im eant five not a %
i got yah