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lyssa

  • 2 years ago

Need Opinions: Please

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  1. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Need opinions on my poem

  2. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Stanza 1: It was pouring rain, but there I stood Crying, Laughing, Sobbing, Chuckling Yes, I was new in their neighborhood I tried and tried but it didn’t work, at least I understood They said it couldn’t be done but I was doing something

  3. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Stanza 2: The chances they gave me wasn’t fair They threw me right over the edge, Expecting that I would know what to do in mid air As I was falling they told me that was the fare, But how was I to know that there was a pledge

  4. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Stanza 3: Suddenly the wind began to stir. It carried me further and further away Now, as I fell, everything became a blur And I, myself, was now an amateur Now that I could do this I have new rules to obey

  5. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Stanza 4: A wise man always said that it cannot be But who is to define the word wise It was pouring rain, but there I stood with glee With all the possibilities And that man that told me no, I despise

  6. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    thats it

  7. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    You wrote that? Impressive

  8. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    I guess the only thing missing is a title

  9. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Oh the title... It is Triumph... I forgot to put it on:D lol I have a WattPad that it is on too:D

  10. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    Mind explaining exactly what is going on in the poem?

  11. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    I didn't see a way to interpret what is really happening

  12. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    You're supposed to give clues as to what is really going on.

  13. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Some one is finding their way through the world... it is like a person that is confused on where to go in life but the "voice" in his head tell him that.. he needs to continue on. But there is another voice in his head telling him to give up and the wind that stirred is him making up his mind to go the right way in life:D

  14. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    POEM IS ABOVE AT THE TOP^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  15. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    I'm not a poem tutor. So I really cannot be of much help. However, I do believe your poem would be much better if what you were describing was a particular event that the person was participating in as a new citizen in a new community and was being observed by many people and was feeling the weight on his/her shoulders to prove him/herself to everyone that he/she is a hard worker.

  16. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Ok thanks for your opinion

  17. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    You could still speak metaphorically with your poem and give hints as to what event the person is participating in. You could even use some event in history as the "stage".

  18. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Maybe ill write another poem with that type of format:D

  19. Hero
    • 2 years ago
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    Good luck with it :D

  20. lyssa
    • 2 years ago
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    Ok thanks:D

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