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and here is what my Instructor want me to work on This is a promising start to the essay. You make some good points about healthcare in the draft, although you will need to add quite a bit more detail in the essay in order for it to reach the word minimum for the assignment. In addition, the essay does not have a clear focus right now. You discuss several issues, including the PPACA. Do you plan on focusing on Obamacare? I guess I'm not really clear what your particular focus is going to be. Are you going to discuss the objections that you mention at the end of the draft? Remember that this is a short essay, so you can't cover everything. Have a clear and limited focus. In addition, make sure that you use sources to support your argument. I don't see any citations in this draft, and there is no References page, so I'm assuming you haven't used information from such sources yet. You should, though. See this website for information on how to properly cite sources according to APA: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/02/ See this website for information on how to format a References list according to APA: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/05/ Finally, the format of the essay is not quite correct. There are no page numbers, and the title page is not quite correct. See the APA Short Essay Template in Doc Sharing for information on how to properly format your essays. This website gives additional information: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/01/
Alright, so, pretty much do what your're professor wants you to do to improve your essay. Like he said, you /do/ discuss several issues. I would be okay to talk about them, but only shortly. Then make your way to your main point. If it's going to be Obama Care, then talk about that. Make sure to explain it more than the other issues, because that's going to be your main point. Does that make sense?
If it's going be Obama Care, make sure to do research on it and support your essay with whatever research/facts/statements etc. etc. you have found.
And as always, be sure to cite where you found your information.
I hope I've helped ^_^
You're welcome :D
Thanks TheWriter....your help is greatly appreciated!
You're welcome. Glad I could help ^_^
Have a great day everyone! :)
I see you are having a little trouble. Instead of trying to edit your paper, I am going to give you some tips. You just need to organize your thoughts a little better, and everything will fall into place. First, you need a clear thesis. Your thesis will answer the "big question" that you will be addressing with your paper. Second, you need THREE key points. These are the three main things you will be discussing about your topic. For each of your three points, you will need AT LEAST 3 supporting ideas. These will be examples or facts from your research. Don't worry about writing them in paragraphs, right now. Just get them on paper. It might help if you write each topic on a separate piece of paper. That way, you won't get any facts where they don't belong. Once you have the information on paper, you can start on your introduction. You will need a hook. Something to make your readers want to keep reading. Maybe a shocking statistic? Your thesis will go here, as well as your three key points. Use words like "first," "next," and "lastly," to give a kind of timeline of your paper. ~~ For example: First, I will explain such and such. Then, I will discuss this and that. Lastly, I will go over blah blah blah. ~~ You should have a total of 5 paragraphs: introduction, 3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphs 2 through 4 are for explaining, in further detail, each of your key points. Only discuss ONE point per paragraph. If you run your information together in one paragraph, your readers will be confused. So, discuss one topic in it's entirety, before moving on the the next point. Now you need a conclusion. Remember, it is very important that NO NEW INFORMATION be added to your conclusion. It is a summary of your paper. You cannot summarize what you have not already discussed. You should restate your thesis, and mention your key points. This will be almost like your introduction, but in the past tense. ~~ For example: First I covered such and such. Next, I talked about this and that. Lastly, I explained blah blah blah. ~~ I hope this helps you. Good luck on your paper!
Thanks Peeps! I appreciate this information as I would be able to use it in my own writing, too! Have a good day!
No problem! :)