At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
When it comes to life support, it may seem as if every patient can be kept on it until they get better, but what if the chances are very rare, should they still be kept on life support? Life Support was originally intended to help the body perform functions when they are unable to operate to keep the being alive until further treatment is available or the natural healing process begins. Often the general public is misleading when the availability of this method grows because millions of dying patients are now kept on life support. A dying person should not be kept on life support because it does not prove to be ethical, and can lead to harmful side-effects and keeping a dying person on life support just breaks false hopes which build up in the hearts of all the families and close ones. Keeping a dying person on life support does not prove to be an ethical move. When the costs are carefully observed, it can be as much as $100,000 per day to keep a dying person alive on life support. There are situations where the families must pay and who wouldn’t for their loved ones, but keeping them as a living corpse is not beneficial at all and many families drown in debt for life, and in the end they have ruined their lives and lost their loved one. Also more than 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 per day, and when we compare $100,00 just to keep a “dead person alive”, one can clearly see the money could be well spent in finding better cures or even helping ones who can be cured but just don’t have the opportunities. Finally it is often over looked that a dying person is unable to talk or even perform the most basic tasks In life, who would want to live with tubes to feed them, to sanitize them and even to breath. When one does go in a dying person’s shoes, only then they realize how hard it is to be kept alive on life support and death would just be the better path. The sole purpose of life support is to take over the bodies functions for a short period, but once a dying person is kept on life support it can lead to many more unintentional problems which can make the dying person’s life abominable. A dying person kept on life support is kept on bed all day with no physical movement, as time passes they will be like stone as all their muscles will be nearly gone and even the slightest movement can lead to broken or dislocated bones. Also this can lead to even more problems which would mean more machines and tubes into their body and the patient would be literally living an artificial life. Just imagine your loved one dying in tubes, wouldn’t it be better to set them free rather than to keep them as a living corpse. It may be hard to see your best friend or family member die but would you really put them through “torture”, just for your emotions. Also a big question that may arise is, “what if he starts to get better, it could happen any moment”. Even if a dying person comes back and starts to make the recovery, their life could never be the same again. All the treatments they have to go through and the pre-cautions the family needs to take, do you really thing the dying patient would want to recover if they were going to live a life like that. In most instances families are given false hopes, which are just meant to be broken. Finally, the use of life support on dying people has broken many hearts and created false hopes. Just imagine, a small family living in the false hope that their grandfather will get better from life support, and once he dies they may never hope again and will go through depression, mood swings and lack of happiness. Where as if they were prepared and accepted the fact their grandfather will no longer live, they could have enjoyed the last moments with him and let him die with ease, naturally. Also the ones who love the dying patient most, will even let go of once in a life time opportunities just waiting weeks, months and even years for the person to start healing because of the false hope. Lives can become completely dull and changed when dying patients are kept on life support, their families will not get the chance to move on and change. Finally even in the shoes of the dying person, they may choose life support because it gives them false hope, rather than trying to fight they would just give up and stick to that method. They would lose all their positivity because they will be just thinking if life support all day and would lose the happiness even in the last moments in their life. As you may notice, keeping a dying person on life support can prove to have many negative effects, some unintentional, some just because our emotions don’t allow us or even because of the false hope that seems to build up. Life support is meant for temporary use only and should not be used for a dying person.
Tips: - Avoid repeating words too many times in the same sentence, because it makes your writing seem repetitive. ie use pronouns such as 'it' to refer back to life support instead of repeating it. - Be more concise, by getting your point across in less words, and omitting unessesary details that are off-topic. - Punctuation and such - some places, there are commas needed. Questions should end with question marks. - Tenses should be correct throughout a sentence. More Specific: - The second sentence says 'to keep the being alive', which doesn't make sense - perhaps you can instead say 'to sustain life' or 'to support the body' - 'Often the general public is misleading' doesn't make sense - what do you mean? Are they mislead or physically mislead others? - Try to make your thesis statement more concise and to the point. You can also omit 'and keeping a dying person on life support' because you already said that in the first part of the sentence. - When asking a question (usually rhetorical), it should be its own sentence with question mark at the end and not encorporated into one. - Tenses - make sure you're using the same tense throughout a sentence. Ex: Paragraph 2 sentence 2 : 'and have lost their loved one'. Overall, there were some errors but I appreciate your more 'personal' approach to the topic, and there was some interesting factual evidence. You just need to work on grammar. :) Good luck!
So What grade would this be?
I'm not sure, since I don't have any reading credentials. If you didn't write this for an assignment, though, good job! Few people do that so you must really want to learn and whatnot :)