Quantcast

Got Homework?

Connect with other students for help. It's a free community.

  • across
    MIT Grad Student
    Online now
  • laura*
    Helped 1,000 students
    Online now
  • Hero
    College Math Guru
    Online now

Here's the question you clicked on:

55 members online
  • 0 replying
  • 0 viewing

HaperFink22

Quick Fix!

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

  • This Question is Closed
  1. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    When you’re going through a tough time, it can feel like a whole army is after you. What you don’t realize is there is nothing but an army of shadows. Fix this please? :]]]

    • one year ago
  2. panlac01
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    it can be written concisely

    • one year ago
  3. Johnjakile1998
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Is there a specific way you want it done?

    • one year ago
  4. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    I just feel like it's a little messy. It can be written better.

    • one year ago
  5. Johnjakile1998
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Ok. Here goes.

    • one year ago
  6. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Thanks

    • one year ago
  7. Johnjakile1998
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Have you ever been through a tough time? It feels like a whole army's after you? But there something that you don't realize, that there's nothing after you, but the shadows.

    • one year ago
  8. Johnjakile1998
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Sorry it took so long to reply. Cleaning up the house.

    • one year ago
  9. panlac01
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    messy, but that can be used if you're running a small speech

    • one year ago
  10. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    I'm writing an intro to a small online book I write for amusement. It's titled, Army of Shadows. I just need a great intro sentence.

    • one year ago
  11. panlac01
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    then write all of it before you start rewriting them :)

    • one year ago
  12. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    It's the motto for the story, I have like 2 chapters and everything else made.

    • one year ago
  13. wach
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 2

    If you want to make it more impactful, you can try creating a greater relationship between the words and add drama. Such as below : When you’re going through dark times, it may feel as if an entire army is after you. What you don’t realize is that there's nothing but an army of shadows. Or something like that. Just try switching out words and finding synonyms until it seems right to you. Good luck, fellow writer :)

    • one year ago
  14. wach
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 2

    Another tricksy sort of writing tip is to just add in italicization on specific words for more emphasis and /drama/. Somewhat sneaky but effective, haha :)

    • one year ago
  15. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Thans guys! It would be awesome if you could help with this sentence: My favorite thing about being in the shower is that no one can hear my sobs. My tears mend with the water and for 10 minutes, I escape the world. I think about what Maya said yesterday and she is right. I am filled and motivated with hatred and bitterness and the worst part is I don't know why.

    • one year ago
  16. wach
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 2

    I think it looks good and supplies the right kind of feeling you're going for. When I actually first read it, I didn't realize it was fiction and rightly panicked a little bit. ._. But I guess if you could improve it, combining sentences for longer ones is something you could do? I like it though.

    • one year ago
  17. HaperFink22
    Best Response
    You've already chosen the best response.
    Medals 0

    Cool thanks! :)

    • one year ago
    • Attachments:

See more questions >>>

Your question is ready. Sign up for free to start getting answers.

spraguer (Moderator)
5 → View Detailed Profile

is replying to Can someone tell me what button the professor is hitting...

23

  • Teamwork 19 Teammate
  • Problem Solving 19 Hero
  • You have blocked this person.
  • ✔ You're a fan Checking fan status...

Thanks for being so helpful in mathematics. If you are getting quality help, make sure you spread the word about OpenStudy.

This is the testimonial you wrote.
You haven't written a testimonial for Owlfred.