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KE8717504 Group Title

STONEHENGE Stonehenge located in Southern England standing 13’6” and weighing some 50 tons each, is a prehistoric circle of upright stones. The great age of Stonehenge and the purpose of the mysterious monument draws over 800,000 visitors each year. Several other thousand people gather on the Summer Solstice (religious practice) to watch the sunrise at the mysterious Stonehenge. The stones at Stonehenge are aligned almost perfectly with the sunrise at Summer Solstice and it is unquestioned that Stonehenge was built for a place of worship. The current site of Stonehenge as beautiful and a

  • 2 years ago
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  1. completeidiot Group Title
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    and it is unquestioned that Stonehenge was built for a place of worship. unquestioned is a bit of a stretch

    • 2 years ago
  2. KE8717504 Group Title
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    how does the rest of that sound

    • 2 years ago
  3. completeidiot Group Title
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    missing a comma Stonehenge, located in Southern England standing 13’6” and weig... i wouldnt say "the purpose of the mysterious monument" as that is not really known maybe uniqueness the summer solstice isnt a religious practice, its a date, the day the sun happens to be in the sky the longest, i suggest you actually look this up, but it occurs once a year blah blah blah

    • 2 years ago
  4. KE8717504 Group Title
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    ok

    • 2 years ago
  5. Captain_Page_Turner Group Title
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    It depends on who you are talking to, though. There are still people in today's world that celebrate the summer and winter solstices as a part of their own religious or spiritual traditions and gathering at Stonehenge to do so can be a natural part of that expression. So it's not entirely wrong. As for additional edits that may help: "The great age of Stonehenge and the purpose of the mysterious monument draws over 800,000 visitors each year." "Purpose" and "mysterious" seem at odds in that expression - you should just settle on one or the other, but since the purpose of Stonehenge is still being debated today, sticking with mysterious may work just as well. Thus: "....and the mystery surrounding the monument..." ...may be a better fit. Another sentence that can be tweaked is this one: "Several other thousand people gather on the Summer Solstice (religious practice) to watch the sunrise at the mysterious Stonehenge." ...can also be written as... "Thousands of people continue to gather during the Summer Solstice at Stonehenge to celebrate the event as part of their religious beliefs." "Several other thousand" simply sounds awkward in that sentence. "Thousands" can describe a large number of people by itself, though adding an adjective such as "several" won't hurt it, either. It's really up to the writer on deciding that for themselves. I agree that "unquestioned" is also a bit of a stretch. Even today, archaeologists are still debating on what the true purpose of Stonehenge is and why it was built.

    • 2 years ago
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