I need crits and suggestions<3 There is no home to return to. The last light fades away. All is lost, the Black sun rises, As Darkness shrouds your way. All good in the world has perished, New eras, no longer ours. The days of man have ended, Replaced with lifeless hours. Moments of death sear all memories Pain is no foreign concept And death lurks in every shadow The smoke of burning and pure hate chokes the trees Losses of nature that signal destruction" Without you Frodo Baggins, this will be our new home.

At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

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I need crits and suggestions<3 There is no home to return to. The last light fades away. All is lost, the Black sun rises, As Darkness shrouds your way. All good in the world has perished, New eras, no longer ours. The days of man have ended, Replaced with lifeless hours. Moments of death sear all memories Pain is no foreign concept And death lurks in every shadow The smoke of burning and pure hate chokes the trees Losses of nature that signal destruction" Without you Frodo Baggins, this will be our new home.

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At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

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the only part i thought was weird was the "black sun"
Well if you are familiar with LOTR, J R R talks about darkness and Legolas mentions a Red sun. It's derived from that concept.
red does sound better i guess, but if you like it keep it. i was just pointing it out.

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I'll look into it. Thank you all the same<3 I'll take any crits or suggesttions.
I love it a lot. Had me all wrapped up, aha (;
it's amazing!!!
especially the first verse
Thank you<3 I'm working on the next verses.
ohh!! can you post it when you're done? can't wait to read the rest!

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