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Matt6288 Group Title

tell me what u think

  • 2 years ago
  • 2 years ago

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  1. Matt6288 Group Title
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    • 2 years ago
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  2. jordyn77 Group Title
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    you need to fix your grammar and spelling mistakes

    • 2 years ago
  3. Matt6288 Group Title
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    what is a word i use most often?

    • 2 years ago
  4. jordyn77 Group Title
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    um i dont know??

    • 2 years ago
  5. Matt6288 Group Title
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    what part do u think needs more improvement?

    • 2 years ago
  6. jordyn77 Group Title
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    your spelling, the grammar

    • 2 years ago
  7. Matt6288 Group Title
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    so overall its good?

    • 2 years ago
  8. jordyn77 Group Title
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    YEP

    • 2 years ago
  9. Matt6288 Group Title
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    A+?

    • 2 years ago
  10. Confucious Group Title
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    • 2 years ago
  11. Matt6288 Group Title
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    awe why cant i use simplistic haha

    • 2 years ago
  12. Confucious Group Title
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    :) haha, it sounds weird, i know what you were going for though

    • 2 years ago
  13. Matt6288 Group Title
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    did u like it tho(: was it entertaining cuz i was laughing the whole time i was typing it. I dont like the ending of my essay tho..

    • 2 years ago
  14. Confucious Group Title
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    :) lol, yeah I liked it. The ending isn't bad. You just need that one final sentence to wrap it up.

    • 2 years ago
  15. Matt6288 Group Title
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    u gotta admit their as to be a better way to end it then "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance."

    • 2 years ago
  16. Confucious Group Title
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    Correcting your reply: "You have to admit, THERE HAS to be a better way to end it THAN..." Yes there is. The final sentence that I crossed out, replace it with something similar to it but that is meaningful and is connected to what has already been written. Write what you learned from the whole situation, but connect to the story so the reader will understand.

    • 2 years ago
  17. Discord Group Title
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    You need to fix your spelling and grammar. You know what you want to say but you aren't using the correct forms of words and such.

    • 2 years ago
  18. Discord Group Title
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    If you would like I can correct it for you and send it back.

    • 2 years ago
  19. Discord Group Title
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    This is a first draft I assume?

    • 2 years ago
  20. Confucious Group Title
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    "it", connect "it" to the story, sorry

    • 2 years ago
  21. Matt6288 Group Title
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    i already corrected it @Discord all the small stuff are taken care of now. But thanks (: and ya its first draft i wrote it quick haha

    • 2 years ago
  22. Matt6288 Group Title
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    • 2 years ago
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  23. Matt6288 Group Title
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    "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance. To learn that even the little things in life can have a big impacted in your life. " hows that!?

    • 2 years ago
  24. Confucious Group Title
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    Yes but how did it impact you? It is still unclear. What specific thing did you learn? [By the way that sentence should read: "I learned that even little things in life can have a big impact on your life." And it is generic also.]

    • 2 years ago
  25. Matt6288 Group Title
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    I learned that little things like jumping in the pool full of crowded people and almost dieing was a lesson learned, To also avoid those if its possibly life threatening :) is that good?!

    • 2 years ago
  26. Confucious Group Title
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    How about that small adventures can lead to big life lessons?

    • 2 years ago
  27. Matt6288 Group Title
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    thats better haha

    • 2 years ago
  28. Confucious Group Title
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    Look at it with the rest of the story and see how it sounds. Read it out loud for more understanding.

    • 2 years ago
  29. Matt6288 Group Title
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    Escaping death, I woke up laying near the pool coughing in confusion to what might've happened. I saw a man over me concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and I thanked him with a hug, wishing that it a hot girl instead. I learned that small advancers can lead to big life lessons and figured I was lucky to have survived thanking God for blessing me with a second chance.

    • 2 years ago
  30. Matt6288 Group Title
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    thats hot!

    • 2 years ago
  31. Confucious Group Title
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    :) hahaha yes it is but you still have a few errors. Try this: Escaping death, I woke up near the pool coughing in confusion as to what might have happened. I saw a man over me, concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and thanked him with a hug (secretly wishing he was a beautiful girl instead). I learned that small adventures can lead to big life lessons and I figured I was lucky to have survived, and thanked God for blessing me with a second chance. I have those words in brackets because they stray a bit from the main line of thought.

    • 2 years ago
  32. Matt6288 Group Title
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    THX! :D

    • 2 years ago
  33. Confucious Group Title
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    :) you're welcome

    • 2 years ago
  34. Matt6288 Group Title
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    Now I'm only accepting comments people! :D lol

    • 2 years ago
  35. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    Great job on this piece Matt. you're an excellent writer I must say and I thoroughly enjoyed reading of the suspense in your story. I think you really connected with your readers and brought out your own voice in your writing. you are very lucky indeed to be alive and are truly blessed. Thank God for miracles huh? :D lol

    • 2 years ago
  36. Matt6288 Group Title
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    Ur to kind! <3 :D i gotta thank god for making such a polite attractive girl to! Im glad u enjoyed it(: (to bad it wasn't the actually final final)

    • 2 years ago
  37. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    lol I try to be as best I can!(: and thank you for sharing it with me, I hope you get an A (:

    • 2 years ago
  38. Matt6288 Group Title
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    Me to! Thanks for the compliment! (;

    • 2 years ago
  39. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    no problem love(;

    • 2 years ago
  40. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    errr i mean bud((: lol

    • 2 years ago
  41. Matt6288 Group Title
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    I like love better ;D

    • 2 years ago
  42. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    I bet ;P it fits

    • 2 years ago
  43. Matt6288 Group Title
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    yes it does (;

    • 2 years ago
  44. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz Group Title
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    well ok then love. you should pm ya?;P

    • 2 years ago
  45. Matt6288 Group Title
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    • 2 years ago
  46. Confucious Group Title
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    • 2 years ago
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