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Matt6288

tell me what u think

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

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  1. Matt6288
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    • one year ago
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  2. jordyn77
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    you need to fix your grammar and spelling mistakes

    • one year ago
  3. Matt6288
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    what is a word i use most often?

    • one year ago
  4. jordyn77
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    um i dont know??

    • one year ago
  5. Matt6288
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    what part do u think needs more improvement?

    • one year ago
  6. jordyn77
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    your spelling, the grammar

    • one year ago
  7. Matt6288
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    so overall its good?

    • one year ago
  8. jordyn77
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    YEP

    • one year ago
  9. Matt6288
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    A+?

    • one year ago
  10. Confucious
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    • one year ago
  11. Matt6288
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    awe why cant i use simplistic haha

    • one year ago
  12. Confucious
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    :) haha, it sounds weird, i know what you were going for though

    • one year ago
  13. Matt6288
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    did u like it tho(: was it entertaining cuz i was laughing the whole time i was typing it. I dont like the ending of my essay tho..

    • one year ago
  14. Confucious
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    :) lol, yeah I liked it. The ending isn't bad. You just need that one final sentence to wrap it up.

    • one year ago
  15. Matt6288
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    u gotta admit their as to be a better way to end it then "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance."

    • one year ago
  16. Confucious
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    Correcting your reply: "You have to admit, THERE HAS to be a better way to end it THAN..." Yes there is. The final sentence that I crossed out, replace it with something similar to it but that is meaningful and is connected to what has already been written. Write what you learned from the whole situation, but connect to the story so the reader will understand.

    • one year ago
  17. Discord
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    You need to fix your spelling and grammar. You know what you want to say but you aren't using the correct forms of words and such.

    • one year ago
  18. Discord
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    If you would like I can correct it for you and send it back.

    • one year ago
  19. Discord
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    This is a first draft I assume?

    • one year ago
  20. Confucious
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    "it", connect "it" to the story, sorry

    • one year ago
  21. Matt6288
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    i already corrected it @Discord all the small stuff are taken care of now. But thanks (: and ya its first draft i wrote it quick haha

    • one year ago
  22. Matt6288
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    • one year ago
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  23. Matt6288
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    "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance. To learn that even the little things in life can have a big impacted in your life. " hows that!?

    • one year ago
  24. Confucious
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    Yes but how did it impact you? It is still unclear. What specific thing did you learn? [By the way that sentence should read: "I learned that even little things in life can have a big impact on your life." And it is generic also.]

    • one year ago
  25. Matt6288
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    I learned that little things like jumping in the pool full of crowded people and almost dieing was a lesson learned, To also avoid those if its possibly life threatening :) is that good?!

    • one year ago
  26. Confucious
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    How about that small adventures can lead to big life lessons?

    • one year ago
  27. Matt6288
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    thats better haha

    • one year ago
  28. Confucious
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    Look at it with the rest of the story and see how it sounds. Read it out loud for more understanding.

    • one year ago
  29. Matt6288
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    Escaping death, I woke up laying near the pool coughing in confusion to what might've happened. I saw a man over me concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and I thanked him with a hug, wishing that it a hot girl instead. I learned that small advancers can lead to big life lessons and figured I was lucky to have survived thanking God for blessing me with a second chance.

    • one year ago
  30. Matt6288
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    thats hot!

    • one year ago
  31. Confucious
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    :) hahaha yes it is but you still have a few errors. Try this: Escaping death, I woke up near the pool coughing in confusion as to what might have happened. I saw a man over me, concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and thanked him with a hug (secretly wishing he was a beautiful girl instead). I learned that small adventures can lead to big life lessons and I figured I was lucky to have survived, and thanked God for blessing me with a second chance. I have those words in brackets because they stray a bit from the main line of thought.

    • one year ago
  32. Matt6288
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    THX! :D

    • one year ago
  33. Confucious
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    :) you're welcome

    • one year ago
  34. Matt6288
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    Now I'm only accepting comments people! :D lol

    • one year ago
  35. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    Great job on this piece Matt. you're an excellent writer I must say and I thoroughly enjoyed reading of the suspense in your story. I think you really connected with your readers and brought out your own voice in your writing. you are very lucky indeed to be alive and are truly blessed. Thank God for miracles huh? :D lol

    • one year ago
  36. Matt6288
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    Ur to kind! <3 :D i gotta thank god for making such a polite attractive girl to! Im glad u enjoyed it(: (to bad it wasn't the actually final final)

    • one year ago
  37. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    lol I try to be as best I can!(: and thank you for sharing it with me, I hope you get an A (:

    • one year ago
  38. Matt6288
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    Me to! Thanks for the compliment! (;

    • one year ago
  39. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    no problem love(;

    • one year ago
  40. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    errr i mean bud((: lol

    • one year ago
  41. Matt6288
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    I like love better ;D

    • one year ago
  42. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    I bet ;P it fits

    • one year ago
  43. Matt6288
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    yes it does (;

    • one year ago
  44. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
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    well ok then love. you should pm ya?;P

    • one year ago
  45. Matt6288
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    • one year ago
  46. Confucious
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    • one year ago
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