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Matt6288

  • 2 years ago

tell me what u think

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  1. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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  2. jordyn77
    • 2 years ago
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    you need to fix your grammar and spelling mistakes

  3. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    what is a word i use most often?

  4. jordyn77
    • 2 years ago
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    um i dont know??

  5. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    what part do u think needs more improvement?

  6. jordyn77
    • 2 years ago
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    your spelling, the grammar

  7. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    so overall its good?

  8. jordyn77
    • 2 years ago
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    YEP

  9. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    A+?

  10. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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  11. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    awe why cant i use simplistic haha

  12. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    :) haha, it sounds weird, i know what you were going for though

  13. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    did u like it tho(: was it entertaining cuz i was laughing the whole time i was typing it. I dont like the ending of my essay tho..

  14. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    :) lol, yeah I liked it. The ending isn't bad. You just need that one final sentence to wrap it up.

  15. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    u gotta admit their as to be a better way to end it then "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance."

  16. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    Correcting your reply: "You have to admit, THERE HAS to be a better way to end it THAN..." Yes there is. The final sentence that I crossed out, replace it with something similar to it but that is meaningful and is connected to what has already been written. Write what you learned from the whole situation, but connect to the story so the reader will understand.

  17. Discord
    • 2 years ago
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    You need to fix your spelling and grammar. You know what you want to say but you aren't using the correct forms of words and such.

  18. Discord
    • 2 years ago
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    If you would like I can correct it for you and send it back.

  19. Discord
    • 2 years ago
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    This is a first draft I assume?

  20. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    "it", connect "it" to the story, sorry

  21. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    i already corrected it @Discord all the small stuff are taken care of now. But thanks (: and ya its first draft i wrote it quick haha

  22. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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  23. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    "I figured I was lucky to have survived and that God blessed me with a second chance. To learn that even the little things in life can have a big impacted in your life. " hows that!?

  24. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    Yes but how did it impact you? It is still unclear. What specific thing did you learn? [By the way that sentence should read: "I learned that even little things in life can have a big impact on your life." And it is generic also.]

  25. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    I learned that little things like jumping in the pool full of crowded people and almost dieing was a lesson learned, To also avoid those if its possibly life threatening :) is that good?!

  26. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    How about that small adventures can lead to big life lessons?

  27. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    thats better haha

  28. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    Look at it with the rest of the story and see how it sounds. Read it out loud for more understanding.

  29. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    Escaping death, I woke up laying near the pool coughing in confusion to what might've happened. I saw a man over me concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and I thanked him with a hug, wishing that it a hot girl instead. I learned that small advancers can lead to big life lessons and figured I was lucky to have survived thanking God for blessing me with a second chance.

  30. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    thats hot!

  31. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    :) hahaha yes it is but you still have a few errors. Try this: Escaping death, I woke up near the pool coughing in confusion as to what might have happened. I saw a man over me, concerned, asking if I was alright. I assumed he saved me and thanked him with a hug (secretly wishing he was a beautiful girl instead). I learned that small adventures can lead to big life lessons and I figured I was lucky to have survived, and thanked God for blessing me with a second chance. I have those words in brackets because they stray a bit from the main line of thought.

  32. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    THX! :D

  33. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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    :) you're welcome

  34. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    Now I'm only accepting comments people! :D lol

  35. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    Great job on this piece Matt. you're an excellent writer I must say and I thoroughly enjoyed reading of the suspense in your story. I think you really connected with your readers and brought out your own voice in your writing. you are very lucky indeed to be alive and are truly blessed. Thank God for miracles huh? :D lol

  36. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    Ur to kind! <3 :D i gotta thank god for making such a polite attractive girl to! Im glad u enjoyed it(: (to bad it wasn't the actually final final)

  37. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    lol I try to be as best I can!(: and thank you for sharing it with me, I hope you get an A (:

  38. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    Me to! Thanks for the compliment! (;

  39. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    no problem love(;

  40. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    errr i mean bud((: lol

  41. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    I like love better ;D

  42. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    I bet ;P it fits

  43. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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    yes it does (;

  44. Kaitlyn_The_Math_wiz
    • 2 years ago
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    well ok then love. you should pm ya?;P

  45. Matt6288
    • 2 years ago
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  46. Confucious
    • 2 years ago
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