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buggpoof

  • 2 years ago

i was wondering if anybody would be interested in reading something i wrote? and do some corrections to it like peer review it?

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  1. buggpoof
    • 2 years ago
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    At The Golden Cup By Hailey Johnson I have been going to this coffee shop for about to months now. The Golden Cup would be the name. Every time I go there I sit down open my laptop and read a couple articles from ENN (Exciting News Network). As I am reading this morning articles, I see this tall brunette in a p-coat walk in and she goes up to the counter and orders a small frappachino with extra creme. She gets her cup of coffee and comes up to my table and asks if there is anyone sitting there. I reply with a no. She then pulls up a chair and sits down right in front of me. As she sits down shes kind of watching what I am doing. I start to feel a little uncomfortable. But its more of the uncomfortable you get when you have someone very beautiful in front of you. Right now I don't know what to say. She then asks me what I'm reading, and I reply “5 steps to an easy relationship”. She looked a bit interested in what I was reading so she turned the laptop to face her and started reading. As she was reading I picked my chair up, and moved it next to her so I could also read. As I sat down, she looked at me with a smile. That smile was an un ordinary smile, that smile signified temptation. We both got done reading the article at about the same time. I asked her what she thought of the article, and she replied with “It was a good article.” She looked up the author for the article and there was a photo of me in the right hand of the corner. She took a glance at the photo, then a glance at me, then back at the photo. She asked “Is that you?” and I replied “Yeah that's me.” She says “wow you wrote that?” I then said “Yes I wrote that.” She said, “Wow that's pretty deep.” I said “I know.” She looked down at her watch and said “Ah man I'm late I got to go.” I out of frantic said “Oh uh alright. Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me tomorrow?” She said “Sure why not.” I said “Delighted, see you... same time tomorrow?” She replied with “Wonderful sounds like a plan.” As we were walking out to her car. The morning of the next day, I sit down at the same spot as yesterday, and open my laptop. I'm sitting here waiting for her and there she is, everything just went into slow motion. She looked astonishing. I waved to her and get up. I pull out her chair for her. Out of no where she gives me a hug and I don't know what to do. She sits down next to me and I ask her “Hows your morning going?” She said “It's been alright, how bout you?” I say “The same.” Next we went up and we ordered our coffee, she tried to pull out her money, and I refused to let her pay. I told her it was my treat. Once we sit back down, we talk and get to know each other for a little bit until she had to go to work. I eventually built up the courage and asked her name and number. She told me her name was Nichole, and gave me her number. I told her her name was lovely. Eventually it was time for her to leave for work, so I walked her to her car. I told her I would call her sometime and she was OK with it. Then she drives away. I waited three days to call Nichole. When I called her I asked how her work was going. She said it was going good. Then I asked her what she was doing for diner tonight? She says “Awhh nothing.” So I invited her over and she accepted my offer. Then I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up at around 8? She said that was a perfect time. We hang up and I realize that the apartment isn't clean and rushes to do it. I had garbage everywhere, laundry wasn't done, and dishes everywhere. 6:30 pm rolls around and I have nothing picked out. I'm completely unsure of what to wear. Casual? Or flashy? And I haven't showered yet, I am no where near ready. So I jump in the shower after my house work is done. After I had gotten out of the shower, it was 7:15 and I had decided to go with the casual look . 7:30 is here and I am unsure of what we are going to eat, or what movie we are going to watch so I decide ill let her choose. 7:45 hit the clock and I just got in my car to go pick the lovely lady up. 8:00 and I rung her door bell. I had a couple flowers for her. She opened the door, and she looked completely stunning. I walk her down to her car and open the passenger door for her. I try to look cool and slid across the hood of the car and I end up falling... she starts to laugh at me so I jump up and act like nothing happened. I open the door and she is still laughing. I buckle up and start the car. She asked if I was OK, and I laughed back and said yeah. Then we are on our way to my apartment. When we get to my apartment, I open her car door and show her which one it is. Once we get to the door, I open it for her and tell her to make her self at home. We both sit down and asked her what she wants to eat for dinner, and tell her to pick out a movie. She goes on Netflix and starts to look through the movies. She said she is in the mood for some Chinese food. I agreed. We wait there for about 30 minutes till the food arrived. They settled for the The Killers as their movie. They both have never seen it. Once the movie had got done we talked for a while because I wanted to learn more about her. As I got to know her, I felt like god had sent me an angel from above. It's now 11:30 pm and I decided that I might need to take her home. She asked if she could just stay at my place for the night, and I replied of course. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket, so I could sleep on my couch. As I started to make my bed on my couch, she said “No no no no no no, lets save some blankets since its cold in here and share the bed?” I wasn't going to disagree so I said “OK.” Finally we end up taking the blankets back to the bedroom, we settle in say good night. I roll over so I can go to sleep. Somewhere during the night she ended up cuddling up with me. The next morning I rolled over to see her still in my bed. I looked at her and said “Hmm, shes still sleeping.” So I get out of bed quietly and make her and I some breakfast. She soon wakes up, while I'm cooking with one of my long sleeve shirts. Giving me the look like what are you doing? As she kisses me good morning, then goes to sit in the living room. I ask her if she wanted some coffee, and she did so I made her some coffee. I gave it to her and asked if she slept OK? She said “yeah I slept great.” Then she smiled at me. She asked me what I was making, and I told her I was making us some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. She said that sounded yummy. I asked her to grab the blueberries out of the bottom drawer of the fridge. She grabbed them and dumped the whole box of them in the pancakes. Then I told her that that's her pancake and she laughed. I told her I was serious. And she said OK ill eat them. I tried to flip the pancake with just flinging the pan up and I failed epically. Half the pancake was in the pan and the other half was on the stove. She told me the one on the stove was mine. I finally pick up the pancake that was on the stove top and I cook it so I could eat it. We sit down in the living room and eat our pancakes and drink our coffee and I taste is and I make a sour face because of all the blueberries that was in it. It tasted like I took a bite straight from a lemon. She asked “Hows it taste?” and I reply with “It's pretty good.” We sit down and we are watching the Saturday morning cartoons. “What do you want to do today?” I asked her. She said “I don't know. What do you want to do today?” I said that we can just do nothing today, and she was OK with that. Not bad for a first date I say to her, and she agrees to it, and I offered for a second and she agreed with that also. So you want to do this again....? TO BE CONTINUED!! :)

  2. burhan101
    • 2 years ago
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    That's well written, i didn't see any major errors, just paste it on MS Word for a couple of touch ups. Overall, you're story was great :)

  3. buggpoof
    • 2 years ago
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    Thanks

  4. burhan101
    • 2 years ago
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    You're welcome

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