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Intro; not sure if this is good Have you ever thought about how one moment can change your life? Some may say no and others may say yes. Some realize that just one second can change everything but others say "live your life to the fullest" in-till that last breath you take. After that moment, you realize you should have calmed down and not of "lived to the fullest", but that one moment can really have an impact on you. This is the story of my friend, who could have almost died. It took that one moment to change her life.
This is a good start. I would say condense this and take out any extra words that you can. I think the second sentence is unnecessry. In the middle there is some stuff that doesn't make sense. I would change the last sentence to "it ONLY took that one moment to change her life.
ur into is way to long.
Iknow.. but for this one i dont use a thesis statment.
you dont have to, you can make it shorter.. Alot shorter
But it needs to be at least 5 sentences long.. how would u write it? :)
5 sentences? ive never met a teacher like that, nevermind its good. Lol
yeahh.. 5. do u think i should add something to make it better? (: