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georgeisdaman Group Title

Can anyone help with my thesis statement? I am writing about the NY experience. Does it look good so far? Do i have any grammatical errors? Visualize yourself in the middle of the hustle and bustle at time square..... Attached. THANKS!!! :)

  • 2 years ago
  • 2 years ago

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  1. georgeisdaman Group Title
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    here it is

    • 2 years ago
  2. daniceko Group Title
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    Ok before I answer your ? I have a ? is that just the thesis or is that your intro and this.....The New York experience is like none other as the businesses, the attractions, and the mere site of capitalism at work, fill a person with awe........ is your thesis

    • 2 years ago
  3. georgeisdaman Group Title
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    Yep its my intro and thesis. yep spot on.

    • 2 years ago
  4. daniceko Group Title
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    Ok well then great job just get rid of the comma after captalism at work bc theres no comma needa and then make fill fills besides that awesome job :)

    • 2 years ago
  5. georgeisdaman Group Title
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    THANKS SOOOOO MUCH!! @daniceko is awesome!

    • 2 years ago
  6. daniceko Group Title
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    YOUR SOOOOOOOOOOO WELCOME! ;) Iove thesis statements for some reason

    • 2 years ago
  7. georgeisdaman Group Title
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    lol i am glad! Yay level 47! x)

    • 2 years ago
  8. daniceko Group Title
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    Yay :) I just noticed that lol

    • 2 years ago
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