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Girl.On.Fire

Please help me with my essay It's a descriptive essay. I need one more paragraph and I don't know what to write. Please help!

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

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  1. Girl.On.Fire
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    When I think of beauty, I think of freedom. When I think about nature I see pure freedom. Something so great even humanity could not create. When I think about this freedom my mind goes to the world’s oceans. I remember going to the ocean for the first time mid-summer heat in full rein with the sun sinking into my skin, boardwalk planks creaking as my feet stepped forward, surf boards and snow cone caddies as far as the eye can see. Over to the beach I rushed, anxious to get my first glimpse of the ocean. My feet transitioned from the warm boardwalk as they sunk into the hot sand. Then the marvelous ocean came into view. With the sweet smell of salt water in the air, I immediately fell in love. The ocean was captivating, very different from a swimming pool. I tried to comprehend just how big the ocean is. The ocean covers nearly 71% of our planet’s surface. I stepped closer to the water as the waves pulled into shore. I felt the wet sand under my feet move with me as the waves fled from shore again. The ocean felt alive. It is home to over 230,000 known species. It contains an estimated 50% to 80% of all the Earth’s living creatures. The Earth’s oceans are essentially another world. Communities of fish and other organism’s build their own communities in the depths of the sea known as the abyss. The ocean is very mysterious. Only 10% of it has been explored by humans. The day was coming to an end. The sky was intricately painted with the colors of bright orange, light pink and purple as the ocean raged on. When the night comes and the sky is covered in a dark blanket, I realize that the ocean will still move along with many of the creatures living in it. My imagination took off as I pondered what happens when nobody’s around to see. Do the crabs wander to the shore and gaze at the stars? Do the sharks stalk their prey? Do the whales triumph to the surface of the sea under the moonlit night? Some of my best memories come from my trips to the beach. I try to remember the amazement I had that day I went to the beach for the first time. I try to find that excitement and optimism in everyday life. The ocean is unlike anything else in the world. When I feel the water brush against my feet, I wonder how many organisms have felt that same small patch of water as well. I go back as much as possible knowing there is much to discover. The ocean is mysterious and full of secrets. It has become my second home.

    • one year ago
  2. hba
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    @Girl.On.Fire What was your first step when you started off writing this essay ?

    • one year ago
  3. Girl.On.Fire
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    The first step was to write an introduction

    • one year ago
  4. hba
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    That is where you went wrong

    • one year ago
  5. hba
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    While starting off an essay you must realize that you have to make a plot and write the key-points. The second point is to understand how to fill it up : Intro-1 paragraph body-3 or 4 depending on the amount of matter conclusion-1 paragraph So as can be seen you have one paragraph to go with so you need to read what you have written and try to conclude it.

    • one year ago
  6. hba
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    I hope this helps.

    • one year ago
  7. Girl.On.Fire
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    When I got the essay draft back from my teacher she said it was great however I needed one more paragraph to complete it. Thanks for the help.

    • one year ago
  8. hba
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    You are quiet welcome.

    • one year ago
  9. hba
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    Good work :)

    • one year ago
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