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New Song i been working on its not done but tell me what yall think

Music
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In her mind these niqqas suck out her blood like a fking tick, its like they cant see the cut she has so deep tht it cant even be stitched, she believed every lie tht was said to her all coming from her stupid clique, she’s been hurt so many times tht she was forced to build a wall around her heart made out of bricks, tht when she found the 1 she liked, she was to scared to let him in tht, she let slip away from her life, she became upset, mad, sad, over all pissed. So to get over tht she goes out looking beautiful as can be, looking for a guy to be her first kiss, but she gets more then wat she asks for, after tht had happened she takes a test, tearing up while staring at tht plus sign screaming not this, she calls the guy to tell him the shocking surprise, he doesn’t believes anything she says, he says its all lies, he claims he never touched nor even seen her, as he says tht she begins to cry
Thats really good
thanxs, im not done tho........... i need to finish it

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Other answers:

i think its fine the way it is
O: DOPEEEEEEEEEEEE
Thanxs
You did a really nice job joyflow!! :D
thanxs
AMAZING!! who you talking about?:)
i wrote it cause they have so many girls who fall just like this and i noticed it
but thanxs @Jenn777
true :)
thats so Fukin good i want to read the rest @joyflow
ok well i need to finish it, i wasnt shure if it was gud enough to finish it thts y i post it here to see if i get lost of likes i'll finish it
its like my life too
OMG nice work Bro :D ♥
thanxs sis
ITs AMAZING BOO BOO! C;
thanxs penguin
amg thas deep. i wanna cry now...another eminem :)
Thanxs Kia
tell me wen yu finish!
iwill
WOW THIS IS AMAZING....!!!
thanxs Esme
you might as well right a big thanks to everyone who ikes this as a whole or youll be thanking evryone all day :) lol
Woahh that was really really super good! I can see why you would write something like this. it does happen to many many girls. Reallllyyyy amazing though!
Lmao hhahahaha yu got me laughing @Jenn777
Yaay! point for me :)
thanxs @hola? ima made this song to open ppl eyes tht this happens but im going to make it better and wit a gud ending too
good! haha it doesn't really need a good ending because it's already good, but yeah sounds nice!
i mean wit a ending wit encouragement for the girls who gone thru this
that's really thoughtful!(:
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Yea, they need it
they do but they also got to make a choice to wait .
waiting brings reward :)
yea thts tru waiting brings rewards, but still when yu fall yu would want someone to pick yu up, to encourage yu to keep going forward and tht yu can do it no matter yur mistakes
Right does this sound familair ? :)
lmao yea, well everyonr needs a push.... i needed one to and i got it
AND you will aways be getting one from me out of love i love to challenging people cuz i know they can do better :)
lol ok sis
;D
It's Amazing :)
thanxs Ally :)
SPEECHLEESSS *-*
Awwww thanxs Elise
K its determined youll be here all day thanking people LOL! :)
lol Jen making me smile
I WANNA SING THE CHORUS.
*Blush*
lol ima have yu @KiArUnsYu sing the chorus and ima have Eminem spit acouple verses too LMAO :) :D :P
LMFAOOO AYYEE its gon be raw AF. amg we can try to get him! forreal i got some connections
lmao tht would be legit
ikr. dayum i needa get on it den.
lol, ma cousin would go crazy if he got to meet Eminem
My Pretty Boii Gots Too Much Skills
Awwwwwww thanxs @Reppinthe80 AKA Spanky
No Prob Love, But You Know,You Could Always Give Me Some Of That Skill, Cant Keep It All To Yourself Papi (:
Lmao i just started writing like 4 to 5 months ago, its pretty easy i can teach yu and give yu some pointers but i barely scratched the surface of skill :) @Reppinthe80
TEACH ME PWEASE!!! I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!
ok :)
YESH!!
LMAO

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