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hold on its coming xD
Did someone say.. the good the bad and the ugly? That is, by far, my favorite movie.
Am I just another notch in your belt Just another strike out Did you give me your all Or did you just give out Well the answer's OBVIOUS Yeah when I was hurting inside u were totally OBLIVIOUS Well is this all that you asked for All that you ever wanted I THINK so!!! Well here's a story About the good, the bad, the ugly This describes all that we had And boy am I glad That's it all that it amounted to Yeah all we were was the good, the bad, the ugly Well I hope your dreams get haunted With all your MISERY And thanks to YOU you've made my life a DISSARAY Well here's a story About the good, the bad, the ugly This describes all that we had And boy am I glad That's it all that it amounted to Yeah all we were was the good, the bad, the ugly Well your just another mistake I regret having And now that the truth's unraveling I see your true colors And its true your like any other Yeah you freaking psycopath Well how bout u do the math 1-1=zero And I've lost nothing since ending me and YOU And you've won nothing from doing what you do So what's it gonna take What's at stake besides your excessive pride and oversized ego
Are you looking for feedback on this, or..?
@snapcracklepop Boy do I ever FEEL YOU on this one. This is a song, right? SO relatable, and powerfully written.,. "Am I just another notch in your belt?" *SMH* This is great. :)
Thank you well when you've been through to stuff in your life it becomes easier to write about it and yea its a song
Well, not sure if this applies to ALL songs (which I read this as), but in poetry, a lot of the times the rhymes will be applied like so: Rhyme A Rhyme B Rhyme A Rhyme B For instance, from Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven," And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before So that now, to still the beating of my heart,I stood repeating: “Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door.” The last word of line two and the last word of line four rhyme, "before" and "door." This style of writing in lyrics and poetry can commonly be heard and many pop and rap songs. In this song, line one will rhyme with line two, instead of three: "Yeah all we were was the good, the bad, the ugly Well I hope your dreams get haunted With all your MISERY And thanks to YOU you've made my life a DISSARAY" Misery and Disarray rhyme (in a way, but it works), however, they are not separated with a second line in between. I'd rewrite it as an example, but I'm not sure how that would work without writing a whole new line, which I shall refrain from doing, as I don't commonly work with this style of writing. Aside from rhyming, the song works. Of course, reading aloud, it's fine, but there are some grammatical errors that could be worked out for the written lyrics (As aforementioned, I don't often read/write this style, so these are merely recommendations, they don't really need to be changed): And I've lost nothing since ending me and YOU *And I've lost nothing since ending you and I And thanks to YOU you've made my life a DISSARAY *And thanks to you, my life is in disarray Well the answer's OBVIOUS Yeah when I was hurting inside u were totally OBLIVIOUS *Well, the answers obvious. *When I was hurting inside, you were oblivious. Yeah all we were was the good, the bad, the ugly *Yeah, we were but the good, the bad and the ugly. So what's it gonna take What's at stake besides your excessive pride and oversized ego *So, what's it gonna take? *What's at stake, but your excessive pride and massive ego? (Excessive and massive go together a bit better) Overall, It's a good song. Perhaps it can be added to, but at it's current state, it's good. Sorry if it appears as if I am attempting to rewrite the entire song.
lol dang XD thans for the in depth analyzation
Whoa.... 0_0 , makes me feel ashamed! ;) Went all out!
this is really good!