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This generation has me contemplating about what imma do with my life. I wanna follow my families foot steps But I wanna rap my own reps Be me n' show people who i am I want people to listen to my music and say damn I want to be the kid everyone looks up to Show everyone what I have been through What my sins do I dont want people to make my mistakes N' have their parents' hearts ache I want my parents to be proud I want to hear the crowd go loud when they listen to what i have to say But you gotta meet me half way Listen to my music give me one chance I promise I will become advance Even when i dance I may be white. N' thanks alright Cause my personality is just as bright
Need feedback? "Show everyone what I have been through, What my sins do" is kinda a break in the lyrics. "Give me one chance, I promise I will become advance, Even when I dance" is also a little off. Furthermore, "become advance" isn't grammatically correct. Aside from that, I can't find any other mistakes. However, I don't really.. deal with.. rap.
coolcool

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Other answers:

Shanks and yea it was supposed to be more advance but whatever. I litteraly typed what i was thinking
Hey, sounds great, flows nice too I like it :)
Thanks as soon as I get in the booth i will have a cd so yea
Hey, this is great! I enjoyed the message. Also, I understand what that guy meany about "off" but in rap, you can do so many things with the way you pause or say certain words to make it fit. Great job!!!!
Thank you!
Of course! I really enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me about this! :D You should get it copyrighted. I explained how you do that here:
ok thanks
it would sould pretty cool if it was a rap
My'n?
what?
What did you mean by you last comment "it would sound pretty cool if it was a rap" Are you referring to my rap lol?
lol i never knew it was a rap lol or is it?
Ha yes yes it is (:
o...k i love to rap lol
Good to know lol
i guess.... i acn rap "look at me now"
So can i lol and running with an ak47
never heard it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiF5PrMJEDU I can rap this
i will look at it later
mmk
good rap needs more than just skill it needs a beat
Yup i will get that soon I am getting in the booth in a couple weeks.
This is really good but it needs a good beat
Yea I will get in the booth when i get more money!
Your good but get in a better mood. We need change im not worried about the fame Im just trying to get in the rap game. The rap was nice , but im sorry i got to put your in your place. Keep on pace the rap was nice but it was made by an amateur. Try harder next time , i win everytime cuz im a baller haha
I agree with JlongSwag27 its a nice rap but something about don't seem right. It changes the readers mood or how they see how they felt.

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