anonymous
  • anonymous
New song Check it out! (:
Music
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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schrodinger
  • schrodinger
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anonymous
  • anonymous
This generation has me contemplating about what imma do with my life. I wanna follow my families foot steps But I wanna rap my own reps Be me n' show people who i am I want people to listen to my music and say damn I want to be the kid everyone looks up to Show everyone what I have been through What my sins do I dont want people to make my mistakes N' have their parents' hearts ache I want my parents to be proud I want to hear the crowd go loud when they listen to what i have to say But you gotta meet me half way Listen to my music give me one chance I promise I will become advance Even when i dance I may be white. N' thanks alright Cause my personality is just as bright
anonymous
  • anonymous
Need feedback? "Show everyone what I have been through, What my sins do" is kinda a break in the lyrics. "Give me one chance, I promise I will become advance, Even when I dance" is also a little off. Furthermore, "become advance" isn't grammatically correct. Aside from that, I can't find any other mistakes. However, I don't really.. deal with.. rap.
anonymous
  • anonymous
coolcool

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anonymous
  • anonymous
Shanks and yea it was supposed to be more advance but whatever. I litteraly typed what i was thinking
anonymous
  • anonymous
Hey, sounds great, flows nice too I like it :)
anonymous
  • anonymous
Thanks as soon as I get in the booth i will have a cd so yea
anonymous
  • anonymous
Hey, this is great! I enjoyed the message. Also, I understand what that guy meany about "off" but in rap, you can do so many things with the way you pause or say certain words to make it fit. Great job!!!!
anonymous
  • anonymous
Thank you!
anonymous
  • anonymous
Of course! I really enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me about this! :D You should get it copyrighted. I explained how you do that here:
anonymous
  • anonymous
ok thanks
anonymous
  • anonymous
it would sould pretty cool if it was a rap
anonymous
  • anonymous
My'n?
anonymous
  • anonymous
@owen97
anonymous
  • anonymous
what?
anonymous
  • anonymous
What did you mean by you last comment "it would sound pretty cool if it was a rap" Are you referring to my rap lol?
anonymous
  • anonymous
lol i never knew it was a rap lol or is it?
anonymous
  • anonymous
Ha yes yes it is (:
anonymous
  • anonymous
o...k i love to rap lol
anonymous
  • anonymous
Good to know lol
anonymous
  • anonymous
i guess.... i acn rap "look at me now"
anonymous
  • anonymous
So can i lol and running with an ak47
anonymous
  • anonymous
never heard it
anonymous
  • anonymous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiF5PrMJEDU I can rap this
anonymous
  • anonymous
i will look at it later
anonymous
  • anonymous
mmk
anonymous
  • anonymous
good rap needs more than just skill it needs a beat
anonymous
  • anonymous
Yup i will get that soon I am getting in the booth in a couple weeks.
anonymous
  • anonymous
This is really good but it needs a good beat
anonymous
  • anonymous
Yea I will get in the booth when i get more money!
anonymous
  • anonymous
Your good but get in a better mood. We need change im not worried about the fame Im just trying to get in the rap game. The rap was nice , but im sorry i got to put your in your place. Keep on pace the rap was nice but it was made by an amateur. Try harder next time , i win everytime cuz im a baller haha
anonymous
  • anonymous
I agree with JlongSwag27 its a nice rap but something about don't seem right. It changes the readers mood or how they see how they felt.

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