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AngelDreamGurl Group Title

The assignment was to describe the setting in a fashionable way. What do you think?

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

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  1. AngelDreamGurl Group Title
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    It was a particularly dark night. The sky, usually scattered with a flickering glow from the light of the ever-present stars, now stood as dark and lifeless as ever. The sliver of the crescent moon, timid without the stars shining brightly beside him, cowered behind the thin veil of clouds, giving off an eerie, almost vaporous sheen. The wind howled through the bare, leafless branches of the Oak trees, almost as if the ghosts of their lost splendor whined in disgust at the hollow skeletal frame it had become. The frosty, bitter air nipped at my shoulders, causing me shiver and rub my hands against my arms in a futile attempt to warm them. I pulled my thin cardigan tighter around my freezing body, thankful that I was almost home.

    • one year ago
  2. AngelDreamGurl Group Title
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    @ash2326 @bobby4234534523 @CaityxD @Darrius @Fey @hopiesoapy @ifelloffabridge2

    • one year ago
  3. bobby4234534523 Group Title
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    y did you mention me

    • one year ago
  4. ash2326 Group Title
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    @AngelDreamGurl It's Great :)

    • one year ago
  5. bobby4234534523 Group Title
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    um any of you now why she mentioned me

    • one year ago
  6. AngelDreamGurl Group Title
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    @bobby4234534523 I wanted to know what you thought....

    • one year ago
  7. bobby4234534523 Group Title
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    okkkk well its great, i like it

    • one year ago
  8. AngelDreamGurl Group Title
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    thanks, anything you'd change?

    • one year ago
  9. NeetziD Group Title
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    It was a particularly (insert a prerogative here) dark night. The sky, usually scattered with a flickering glow from the light of the ever-present stars (is it the part of the world where sky is always clear? o.O), (and here, it) now stood (before the protagonist) as dark and lifeless as ever (can/could be). The sliver of the crescent moon, (so)timid without the (very) stars (which shone/)shining brightly beside him, cowered behind the thin veil of clouds, giving off an eerie, almost vaporous sheen. The wind howled through the bare, leafless branches of the Oak trees, almost as if the ghosts of their lost splendor whined in disgust at the hollow skeletal frame it had become(/had it become). The frosty, bitter air nipped at my shoulders, causing me shiver and rub my hands against my arms in a futile attempt to warm them. I pulled my thin cardigan tighter around my freezing body, thankful(ly) that I was almost home. I have mostly been against first person narrative. They reveal too much detail. Or so I feel. Anyway, that was a critical summary. I believe a little more word play could add to the alluring airs. The rambling about the sky could have been cut off and instead given a total descript of the over all surrounding. Or so I feel, now you can totally ignore me, or expand your horizons and discover some new styles of narratives. A setting is more than the ghostly sky, afterall. I hope you're writing something substantial there. *thumbs up*

    • one year ago
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