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congressgirl1998 Group Title

I haven't written in a while so please tell me how it sounds, Thanks : Why ? Why do things happen ? Why are things in life so complicated ? Why are things that are so precious to us get taken away in a matter of time ? Life, family, friends, love ones, pets, opportunities, and what not. Why is our world filled with horrid acts of corruption in our soceity ? Why do people do the things that they do ? Hurt, kill, molest, kidnapp, gossip, and more. Why ? That is the question, the main question to be.. Why ?

  • one year ago
  • one year ago

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  1. JoMarioR Group Title
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    It's "loved ones." I would take out "what not" because the tone of the passage turns from serious to somewhat informal. Actually, I would fix it like this: Why is life so complicated? Why are the most precious parts of life, the parts that make it worthwhile, get taken away? Why is our society filled with horrid acts of corruption? Why do people do the things that they do? Hurt, kill, molest, gossip, and even more horrid acts. Why? That is the question to be answered... But why?

    • one year ago
  2. JoMarioR Group Title
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    Also, are you going to specifically answer the questions later on in your paper? If you aren't, then I would tone done on the question asking. It does give it a dramatic vibe though and I'm assuming that you are going to write about something personal that has happened.

    • one year ago
  3. chaylacryder Group Title
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    Maybe she was writing it in poetry form, which technically would mean she didn't have to answer them because they're meant to make you wonder.

    • one year ago
  4. congressgirl1998 Group Title
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    I was writing in poetry form. Thank you for noticing. (: @chaylacryder

    • one year ago
  5. chaylacryder Group Title
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    No prob, it really wasn't that hard to see. Well, I guess for some people it is. :)

    • one year ago
  6. congressgirl1998 Group Title
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    Yeah :) I don't write much. I speak my mind more than I write.

    • one year ago
  7. chaylacryder Group Title
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    That's good, that's better then keeping to yourself all your feelings. :)

    • one year ago
  8. JoMarioR Group Title
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    Oops, mah bad! Sorry, I was stuck on the "scholarly paper" mindset on that one :p

    • one year ago
  9. chaylacryder Group Title
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    Scholarly paper mindset?? Good luck with that. You were just trying to help, which I'm sure means you don't have to apologize to her. Don't take my word for it.

    • one year ago
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