anonymous
  • anonymous
I wrote a poem a little while back...What do you all think of it? I was sitting in a corner all alone With no one to talk to except for my cell phone But nobody calls and nobody texts So I wonder what I should do next My mom is too busy my dad is at work My brother has homework and I feel like a dork I wish that my friends could come over That way I could have fun before I get older I try to watch tv I try to play games But whenever I do it becomes a big shame So I hope that my poem wasn't too bad The next time I write one I hope I'll be glad. Hope you guys liked it :)
Music
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SOLVED
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
schrodinger
  • schrodinger
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lncognlto
  • lncognlto
The poem is cool, Kimmy, but if I may make one suggestion: I would change the line "With no one to talk to except for my cell phone" to "With no one to talk to except my phone". It would fit better with the meter of the poem. The fact that the phone is a cell is implied later in the poem with the mention of text messages, so it is not necessary to explicitly state this.
lncognlto
  • lncognlto
And welcome to OS!
anonymous
  • anonymous
i like it. i also agree with Incognito though

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anonymous
  • anonymous
I like it, but I think the beginning is much stronger than the ending.

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