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anonymous

  • one year ago

This is my first song that I really feel has potential. Opinions? Song is in the comments box. (I have not recorded it yet I would just like to know opinions on lyrics!)

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  1. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    All alone in the darkness afraid to open up my eyes. This feeling inside no I cannot shake, for I am afraid that I might realize, that it's a dream. For I might realize that it's just a dream. And when I realize that it's not a dream, it starts to scare me yeah, it really scares me. 'Cause I'm just a child. Trapped in this night-marish dream. Or is it real? Or is it real? Or is it real?

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  2. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    it is a short song

  3. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    so?

  4. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I really like it! If you can you should keep going with it. Did you draw or make that picture?

  5. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    no i did not but i could if i wanted to

  6. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    so i need to make it longer but other than that advice peps?

  7. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    peeps*

  8. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Oh okay.. Id have more of an opinion if I could hear someone singing it

  9. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    how would i record it?

  10. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    You said above that you haven't recorded it yet..?

  11. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ya

  12. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    but i think that i didn't read your entire essay

  13. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    So when you do you could youtube or something them post the link on here for people to listen and give opinions.

  14. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ok cool imma finish reading your essay

  15. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    What part did you not read? I have three paragraphs

  16. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh i thought it was three pgs

  17. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ok

  18. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Nope.. Any advise on a conclusion :/

  19. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    hold on

  20. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Holding

  21. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    for the conclusion restate the main idea

  22. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Easier said then done

  23. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    true

  24. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    sounds good

  25. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Thanks but im stuck

  26. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    on?

  27. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    What to write after that

  28. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    idk

  29. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    but you have a new fan

  30. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Oh thank you

  31. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    you need a comma after short

  32. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    other than that i'd say it was beautiful

  33. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay.. Anything else? And is yourself okay to say when an essay is in 3rd person point of view?

  34. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ya i mean i have no problem with it =D

  35. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay thank you :) .. If you add more to your song Id love to read it

  36. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ok cool thx for your imput

  37. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @JellyCakes love it :D

  38. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you!

  39. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    That's a nice song.

  40. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you i think it needs a little work tho

  41. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Meh, I suppose. I honestly couldn't give you any constructive criticism on it, but I suppose a few tweaks here and there and it'll be perfect. Keep at it! ^_^

  42. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you for your opinion!!!

  43. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    You're Welcome! ^_^

  44. rvc
    • one year ago
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    Cool!

  45. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you!!

  46. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    you might want to put it in the music section, a lot of good song writers are in there who could help you.

  47. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you for your advise!!! :)

  48. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Most of them are rappers though, so watch out. :P

  49. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    its great I love it

  50. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you @MAkaylabvb

  51. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i thought that it was a great song and u should write more

  52. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @jellycakes can you write music and have you written the music for it yet. Because honestly if you havent or dont know how it prob will never be a song but forever in the form of a poem

  53. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    do you want to work as a song wrighter for my band?

  54. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    i like it but i think it is about someone lost not in a dream but in life itself

  55. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    yup ypu are correct

  56. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    you*

  57. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    plus i think it is beautiful and "Or is it real,is it real, is it real" should be the chores

  58. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @MAkaylabvb yes i would like that. idk if i would be any good but i can try

  59. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you for your feed back @freeG13

  60. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    welcome thx you for being an awesome songwriter/maybe singer @JellyCakes

  61. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i am only a 6th grader so...

  62. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    8th grader plus in K-12 online school

  63. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    can you sing?

  64. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    I think it is a slow song but in the chores it goes a little faster then back to slow maybe a duet

  65. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    hello? @JellyCakes

  66. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    do you play an instrument?

  67. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @freeG13 i just went to eat dinner and you blocked me...

  68. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i do not play an instrument but if i do next year i will play a wind instrument

  69. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i meant i will be a 6th grader next year

  70. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @freeG13

  71. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    hello?

  72. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    hello

  73. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    can u unblock me plz?

  74. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    and what school are you in?

  75. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    did not block you

  76. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    plus love your name

  77. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i was in k-12 like you but i am going to a traditional middle school next year. i was in this thing called blinded learning and they worked with k-12

  78. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh thank you. i like urs

  79. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    wait if you didn't block me then wt happened?

  80. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    i have no idea

  81. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    it says "This user does not accept messages."

  82. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh i was going to tell u i can sing.

  83. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    oh sorry wait one minute

  84. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    oh sorry wait one minute

  85. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    when i was in 4th grade i got my own solo and this year i got a solo. but i mainly sing in my free time when no one is around.

  86. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    yea me too and is this better?

  87. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    is wt better?

  88. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh ya it is better

  89. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    um never mind

  90. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    thank you but what happened?

  91. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    so are you on facebook?

  92. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    no i am not.

  93. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    um on my profile i thought i was going to have notified emails and well ya

  94. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh ok that happened to me i understand wt happened

  95. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    but hey what do you think if the song is turned into a doet

  96. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    it was annoying i was just minding my own business and it was like "verify your email" *doomy voice*

  97. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i don't know i think it would become confusing because of what the song is about

  98. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    if it were a duet i just don't feel like it would have the feeling that i won't it to have

  99. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    ya maybe your right it is your song :) ;) :)

  100. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    wont*

  101. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    *want*

  102. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    so hey what do you look like?

  103. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    well i do appreciate the fact that you are trying to help instead of saying "ya it was good i liked it" or something like that and thank you for correcting me i am just tired and it is summer and i just didn't rly want to think

  104. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    um what do i like?...

  105. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    what do u mean like songs? fav color? fav pet?

  106. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    stuff like that?

  107. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    what do you LOOK LIKE?

  108. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    hahahhahahahhahhaahah

  109. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    oh LOOK LIKE? oh i have brown hair glasses um...

  110. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    brown skin like caramel

  111. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i am short

  112. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    that about sums me up

  113. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    i look like the profile picture on the left with the peach

  114. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i like that picture

  115. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    hey could you hold on a sec my mom wants me to put away dinner. brb

  116. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    but say what you were going to say then i will go

  117. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    thanks it was like last year though

  118. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    cool

  119. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    nice chating with you

  120. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    u too ;)

  121. freeG13
    • one year ago
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    bye

  122. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    bye

  123. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Thank you guys so much for supporting me. I l<3 ve you guys!

  124. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I also thank you for giving me advise!

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