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All alone in the darkness afraid to open up my eyes. This feeling inside no I cannot shake, for I am afraid that I might realize, that it's a dream. For I might realize that it's just a dream. And when I realize that it's not a dream, it starts to scare me yeah, it really scares me. 'Cause I'm just a child. Trapped in this night-marish dream. Or is it real? Or is it real? Or is it real?
it is a short song
I really like it! If you can you should keep going with it. Did you draw or make that picture?
no i did not but i could if i wanted to
so i need to make it longer but other than that advice peps?
Oh okay.. Id have more of an opinion if I could hear someone singing it
how would i record it?
You said above that you haven't recorded it yet..?
but i think that i didn't read your entire essay
So when you do you could youtube or something them post the link on here for people to listen and give opinions.
ok cool imma finish reading your essay
What part did you not read? I have three paragraphs
oh i thought it was three pgs
Nope.. Any advise on a conclusion :/
for the conclusion restate the main idea
Easier said then done
Thanks but im stuck
What to write after that
but you have a new fan
Oh thank you
you need a comma after short
other than that i'd say it was beautiful
Okay.. Anything else? And is yourself okay to say when an essay is in 3rd person point of view?
ya i mean i have no problem with it =D
Okay thank you :) .. If you add more to your song Id love to read it
ok cool thx for your imput
@JellyCakes love it :D
That's a nice song.
thank you i think it needs a little work tho
Meh, I suppose. I honestly couldn't give you any constructive criticism on it, but I suppose a few tweaks here and there and it'll be perfect. Keep at it! ^_^
thank you for your opinion!!!
You're Welcome! ^_^
you might want to put it in the music section, a lot of good song writers are in there who could help you.
thank you for your advise!!! :)
Most of them are rappers though, so watch out. :P
its great I love it
thank you @MAkaylabvb
i thought that it was a great song and u should write more
@jellycakes can you write music and have you written the music for it yet. Because honestly if you havent or dont know how it prob will never be a song but forever in the form of a poem
do you want to work as a song wrighter for my band?
i like it but i think it is about someone lost not in a dream but in life itself
yup ypu are correct
plus i think it is beautiful and "Or is it real,is it real, is it real" should be the chores
@MAkaylabvb yes i would like that. idk if i would be any good but i can try
thank you for your feed back @freeG13
welcome thx you for being an awesome songwriter/maybe singer @JellyCakes
i am only a 6th grader so...
8th grader plus in K-12 online school
can you sing?
I think it is a slow song but in the chores it goes a little faster then back to slow maybe a duet
do you play an instrument?
@freeG13 i just went to eat dinner and you blocked me...
i do not play an instrument but if i do next year i will play a wind instrument
i meant i will be a 6th grader next year
can u unblock me plz?
and what school are you in?
did not block you
plus love your name
i was in k-12 like you but i am going to a traditional middle school next year. i was in this thing called blinded learning and they worked with k-12
oh thank you. i like urs
wait if you didn't block me then wt happened?
i have no idea
it says "This user does not accept messages."
oh i was going to tell u i can sing.
oh sorry wait one minute
oh sorry wait one minute
when i was in 4th grade i got my own solo and this year i got a solo. but i mainly sing in my free time when no one is around.
yea me too and is this better?
is wt better?
oh ya it is better
um never mind
thank you but what happened?
so are you on facebook?
no i am not.
um on my profile i thought i was going to have notified emails and well ya
oh ok that happened to me i understand wt happened
but hey what do you think if the song is turned into a doet
it was annoying i was just minding my own business and it was like "verify your email" *doomy voice*
i don't know i think it would become confusing because of what the song is about
if it were a duet i just don't feel like it would have the feeling that i won't it to have
ya maybe your right it is your song :) ;) :)
so hey what do you look like?
well i do appreciate the fact that you are trying to help instead of saying "ya it was good i liked it" or something like that and thank you for correcting me i am just tired and it is summer and i just didn't rly want to think
um what do i like?...
what do u mean like songs? fav color? fav pet?
stuff like that?
what do you LOOK LIKE?
oh LOOK LIKE? oh i have brown hair glasses um...
brown skin like caramel
i am short
that about sums me up
i look like the profile picture on the left with the peach
i like that picture
hey could you hold on a sec my mom wants me to put away dinner. brb
but say what you were going to say then i will go
thanks it was like last year though
nice chating with you
u too ;)
Thank you guys so much for supporting me. I l<3 ve you guys!
I also thank you for giving me advise!