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Destinyyyy

  • one year ago

Can someone proofread my essay? Please. I will metal and fan

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  1. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I need another 100 words. And help fixing my thesis statement.. It needs to follow this-- It should include your subjective definition of the topic (your focus) as well as include a preview of the two areas you will use for the development of your two body paragraphs.

  2. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Need 74 more words Real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big. That young women must do anything they can to stay small, such as dieting and exercising. And to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted that there are standards to follow. Conventional beauty has caused low body image in women, and low self-esteem. Women compare themselves to other women because they want to be accepted. This has prompted some women to self harm and/or hate themselves. It has created eating disorders in teenage girls and young women, but males can have eating disorders as well. This is from dieting being taken too far, people commenting or change in appearance, smaller waist. Causing women who are dieting to continue, because of the change, they lose sight of what they wanted and focus on what society, in general, wants. Many things can cause eating disorders to begin, stress is one of the top causes. Stress can be from anything, school, employment, thinking about the future. Sports or activities can also increase the risk, such as dancing or gymnastics. Beauty standards throughout time have changed, but all women are compared to these standards. Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face, from this era to post modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet, and a whole bunch more. Because of these standards women have gone to great lengths, in Victorian England women wore corsets to achieve the ideal body shape; today women regularly get plastic surgery to achieve their desired look, or wear a wig to change their hair color and put on enormous amounts of makeup. Once the makeups off, who will recognize the beautiful young woman before them? Since women change their appearance most have low self-esteem, they feel down about themselves. A woman's natural beauty is real and not an illusion. A thin, tall and average sized foot girl or a curvy, short, and fair skinned girl are both beautiful. No matter what women look like, we are all beautiful. Inside and out we all have our own combination of qualities, shape, color, or size that is pleasing especially to sight. Plato quoted "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," the beholder is yourself.

  3. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy , do you still need help?

  4. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yes!!! @YoungStudier

  5. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Well I've only read the first bit that you posted (as a comment, I haven't looked at the download) But I see that you started a sentence with the word 'And', in my my lessons, they said that you should never start a sentence with the word 'And' because it looses your reader's interest. Perhaps you should write "They also believe that they have to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair."

  6. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    What do you think, @Destinyyyy ?

  7. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Wait a moment, I made an error with my suggestion, I'll rephrase that. "They also believe that young women must change their bodies with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair."

  8. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy

  9. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    @Afrodiddle

  10. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Today's society mistakes beauty with creepy, and creepy with beauty. Why is it so hard to see that looking like a natural beauty is much more wonderful than looking like a creepy old Barbie doll. Societies standards are not even realistic anymore.

  11. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Though exercising is not something we do because we want to stay thin, It is something we must do to stay healthy. No body wants to date some one who constantly eats junk food and does not move around. People all riot about how unnatural models are and how unrealistic they are. When it is a good support for someone to want to stay healthy. Dieting is not necessarily a bad thing, but "starving" yourself is not how you diet. Dieting is when you make healthier food choices by following the food pyramid. You have your organic grains and milk, and then also have your protein from home cooked meats. It's good to eat junk food now and then as a little snack, to reward yourself. but don't go chugging 5 liters of soda in one serving and a bag of potato chips. Brace yourself.

  12. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I just wrote you some topics that can fit your essay.

  13. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Hope that helps.

  14. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I like it thank you. Anything else? @YoungStudier

  15. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I think they will.. Can you help me with the thesis? @Afrodiddle

  16. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I'm going to go get lunch at subway real quick, why don't you work on a different assignment while i'm gone?

  17. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Alright.. I have 20 more assignments I have to do for this class due tomorrow that ill work on. Thank you

  18. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    TOMORROW?!?!

  19. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am an Atheist, but you need Jesus.

  20. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yup.. Over 50 assignments for this class that I have to complete in a week. Its down to 20... Lol seriously

  21. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    o.o I am so sorry for you. I am about to cry from hearing this.

  22. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I thought online classes end at june 30th

  23. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Im in college for the summer term. Its an 8 week long class thats usually 4 months

  24. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    And im taking three other classes with it.. So much fun :(

  25. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Why they do dis?!?!?! that's evil.

  26. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yeah! I have no clue. I wish that I was told this before starting the class. But its to late now

  27. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    >:(

  28. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    This is why ive been begging for help on here

  29. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Too bad you can't mass tag.

  30. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I will try to help as much as I can.

  31. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy , did my suggestion help at all?

  32. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    lol okay thank you.. Yes it did @YoungStudier

  33. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Ok, glad I could help, do you want me to see if I can think of anything else?

  34. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yes please!

  35. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    3rd paragraph, last sentence could use some work, one sec

  36. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay.. I lost my train of thought on that one :/

  37. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Okay how about: Some women who change their appearance might have low self-esteem. They feel down about themselves and think that they have to change. However, this is not the case for other women who change just because they think it's cool and want to be part of the popular crowd.

  38. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy

  39. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I like it and it looks/sounds a lot better. Thank you!

  40. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    No problem! I'll see what else I can do until @Afrodiddle comes back

  41. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I was never gone...... Someone else went to get food. :P

  42. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Oh, oops. XD

  43. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I stubbed my toe and lost my train of thought.

  44. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    totally forgot about this.

  45. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Ouch :/

  46. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I think you should take out exercising because that is actually a requirement in life.

  47. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    In put in "Dieting in a wrong and unhealthy way"

  48. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Are you talking about the intro?

  49. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    yes.

  50. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay

  51. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    That young women must do anything they can to stay small, such as dieting. Dieting in a wrong and unhealthy way. ??

  52. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    This way we can also make a new paragraph topic about how women seem to think eating less food is dieting, instead of changing their daily intake into something healthier.

  53. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I can only have 4 paragraphs js

  54. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. In order to actually follow the rules of a diet you must follow a diagram of your calorie intake and then provide your body of organic meals by following the food pyramid.

  55. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay.. Where am I putting that exactly?

  56. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. In order to actually follow the rules of a diet you must follow a diagram of your calorie intake and then provide your body of organic meals by following the food pyramid, what they are told to do is completely unhealthy. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted that there are standards to follow.

  57. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    putting it all together in the first paragraph.

  58. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Also remember that at a beginning of a new paragraph you need to place an indent.

  59. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay.. " because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like," of how a woman is suppose to look like? ..or.. of what a woman is suppose to look like?

  60. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Lol, remove the "A"

  61. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yes. Once I have all the words I need and its perfect im going to do the double space and indent

  62. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay :)

  63. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Do you need any more assistance or do you guys have a handle on it?

  64. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am sooooo hungry. Brb, I'm going to go take out the trash to distract myself.

  65. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Lmao okay.. You can stay to help if youd like @YoungStudier

  66. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I now have 544 words.. But I still need the thesis fixed to how the teacher wants it

  67. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    M-kay.

  68. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Wait, how's the teacher want it exactly?

  69. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    It needs to follow this-- It should include your subjective definition of the topic (your focus) as well as include a preview of the two areas you will use for the development of your two body paragraphs.

  70. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I'm sorry, this might be a dumb question that has a no duh answer, but what's your focus for the essay?

  71. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Um beauty??

  72. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    So, how beauty is viewed in the world today, right?

  73. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    If your topic is beauty, then I make a perfect definition. just give your teacher a picture of me.

  74. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    LOL

  75. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Um sure.. Lmao

  76. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    So, @Destinyyyy , what is your thesis statement?

  77. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Unknown.. I suck at thesis statements -.-

  78. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Ok let's see....

  79. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    My topic word is beauty.. Women's beauty

  80. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    With the world’s definition of real beauty today, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. With the way the media talks, it makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is way too big and it is unacceptable. They believe that young women must do anything they can to stay small, such as dieting and exercising. They also believe that young women must change their bodies with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful.

  81. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I revised your first paragraph, what do you think?

  82. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy ?

  83. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I like it but @Afrodiddle changed it to-- Real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. In order to actually follow the rules of a diet you must follow a diagram of your calorie intake and then provide your body of organic meals by following the food pyramid, what they are told to do is completely unhealthy. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted that there are standards to follow.

  84. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    It's up to you what you want to write. I was just making a suggestion ^_^

  85. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I could change it to -- With the world’s definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. In order to actually follow the rules of a diet you must follow a diagram of your calorie intake and then provide your body of organic meals by following the food pyramid, what they are told to do is completely unhealthy. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful.

  86. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Sentence 2 of @Afrodiddle 's paragraph does seem to run on quite a bit, doesn't it? :-/

  87. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Um yeah

  88. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    cut out "In order to actually follow the rules of a diet you must follow a diagram of your calorie intake and then provide your body of organic meals by following the food pyramid, what they are told to do is completely unhealthy"

  89. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I noticed that too. But decided to ignore it. :P

  90. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    lol so - Real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted that there are standards to follow. or With the world’s definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful.

  91. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    brb gonna get some food

  92. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    The second one seems more formal, I would go with that.

  93. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Meh, personally I like mine better. XD

  94. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    My Mom gets annoyed when I make run on sentences so I don't think College teachers would exactly be happy either....... ^_^

  95. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    so both vote for #2

  96. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay :) Um does it cover what she wants for the thesis or..?

  97. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    This would be the paragraph I wrote: With the world’s definition of real beauty today, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. With the way the media talks, it makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is way too big and it is unacceptable. They believe that young women must do anything they can to stay small, such as dieting and exercising. They also believe that young women must change their bodies with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful. O.O, did anyone notice that both paragraphs she posted have been changed?

  98. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I believe that they cover the thesis, but then again I'm in 6th grade so......

  99. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Not the thesis, goodness, what the teacher wants. :P

  100. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I combined what you both wrote

  101. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    @Afrodiddle what grade are you in?

  102. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    8th technically... I think... I am not sure really.

  103. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Oh that explains it. LOL

  104. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Oh gezzz.. Next year when school begins will you be in 9th?

  105. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I dont know. I just finished 9th grade classes.

  106. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I will probably skip a grade.

  107. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    So youll be in 10th?

  108. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    This year I was in 8th.

  109. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Finished my 8th grade classes and 9th.

  110. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Oh wow.. Umm not sure either.. Are you home schooled?? And back to my essay does it look done now? Have I covered the thesis the teacher wants or?

  111. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am home schooled but supposed to go into public school after the summer.

  112. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Post your new story.

  113. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    When I said that it explained a lot, I was talking to @Destinyyyy , I was not making fun of you @Afrodiddle

  114. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    What do you mean? :P @YoungStudier

  115. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Hmm I think youll be in 10th then since youve completed 8th and 9th... And I know you were talking to me @YoungStudier

  116. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    When you helped me with that other essay I thought you were a senior or a college freshman like me

  117. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am an advanced student, you just tell me what to do, I google it, and come to a complete understanding.

  118. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Impressive

  119. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    It can become boring at times. :P

  120. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Very true

  121. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I know, but it posted after @Afrodiddle posted and I didn't want to send a negative message even though it was not on purpose.

  122. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Don't worry. I do not suspect a negative tone from you, so I could not really imagine that you were talking about me.

  123. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Oh ok, just making sure. ^_^

  124. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    With the world’s definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful. Conventional beauty has caused low body image in women, and low self-esteem. Women compare themselves to other women because they want to be accepted. This has prompted some women to self harm and/or hate themselves. It has created eating disorders in teenage girls and young women, but males can have eating disorders as well. This is from dieting being taken too far, people commenting or change in appearance, smaller waist. Causing women who are dieting to continue, because of the change, they lose sight of what they wanted and focus on what society, in general, wants. Many things can cause eating disorders to begin, stress is one of the top causes. Stress can be from anything, school, employment, thinking about the future. Sports or activities can also increase the risk, such as dancing or gymnastics. Beauty standards throughout time have changed, but all women are compared to these standards. Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face, from this era to post modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet, and a whole bunch more. Because of these standards women have gone to great lengths, in Victorian England women wore corsets to achieve the ideal body shape; today women regularly get plastic surgery to achieve their desired look, or wear a wig to change their hair color and put on enormous amounts of makeup. Once the makeups off, who will recognize the beautiful young woman before them? Some women who change their appearance might have low self-esteem. They feel down about themselves and think that they have to change. However, this is not the case for other women who change just because they think it's cool and want to be part of the popular crowd. A woman's natural beauty is real and not an illusion. A thin, tall and average sized foot girl or a curvy, short, and fair skinned girl are both beautiful. No matter what women look like, we are all beautiful. Inside and out we all have our own combination of qualities, shape, color, or size that is pleasing especially to sight. Plato quoted "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," the beholder is yourself.

  125. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    It is looking much better.

  126. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Let me check for any grammar mistakes. I know college can be strict about those things.

  127. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    It looks much better! ^_^

  128. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay thank you :)

  129. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Just post it in word, it'll pick out any misspellings but not grammar usage mistakes (unfortunately)

  130. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    In the first sentence, it does not sound right with a repetitive word.

  131. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    "With the world’s definition of real beauty in the world today" You see?

  132. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yeah.. How should I fix it?

  133. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Well, try looking for synonyms.

  134. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    drop "in the world"

  135. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Do you have a student thesaurus?.

  136. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    It'll read "With the world's definition of real beauty today"

  137. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Or.

  138. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    No I dont

  139. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    "With societies definition of real beauty in the world today"

  140. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    That actually sounds better than my suggestion XD

  141. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Would I need to change the second sentence then?

  142. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I don't believe so @Afrodiddle what do you think?

  143. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Try not to repeat a word too many times unless necessary.

  144. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Let me check.

  145. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    It sounds about right.

  146. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    I gotta go @Afrodiddle take over. :D

  147. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Pretend like you are talking to the reader. Read back to yourself to hear if anything sounds out of the ordinary.

  148. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    What classes are you taking by the way?

  149. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    As you are in college I recommend going to a local book store and buying a Dictionary and a Thesaurus, you will be surprised how handy they are.

  150. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I put it into google translate and have it read it to me lol.. Composition 1, Macroeconomics. Intermediate algebra, and computer applications

  151. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    in the second to last sentence of the first paragraph I suggest changing it from "Women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to be beautiful. " -to- "A women's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to have a grasp on beauty."

  152. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Ill look into that.. I have websters new world dictionary.. Completely forgot i had this

  153. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    They make you take Algebra in college? o.o

  154. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Alright I did.. And yes. Everything you learn in high school about math can be throw out once you get in college. They teach you easier ways to solve things and most of the info your learn, you wont ever need

  155. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    UGHHHH I thought this was done and gone.

  156. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Nope

  157. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    OMG

  158. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am going to go cry to myself now.

  159. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Lol sorry

  160. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Alright, I am going to proof read the second para now.

  161. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay

  162. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I think this will need to be changed-- It seems that today, there are standards to follow in order to have a grasp on beauty. ... In the third paragraph I have beauty standards throughout time. So saying "today" will confuse things

  163. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Lets change today to generation.

  164. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    "It seems that in today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty."

  165. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    :/ That makes me think of now the 2000 and not back to Ancient Egypt

  166. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Good. that is what we are going for. It is the correct timeline that this has started to take turn in.

  167. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Roaring 20s helped too. The Flappers. The roaring 20s is also when makeup came out and everyone had to try it.

  168. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    um okay I think

  169. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Flappers were young women who went against what was normally accepted. They bobbed their hair, wore makeup, and did things that appalled older generations.

  170. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    The roaring twenties-- Flat chested, downplayed waist, short bob hairstyle, boyish figure. Those were the standards back then

  171. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    In this generation with all this social media and stuff is when it is starting to take effect on the young minds that this is how we are supposed to look like.

  172. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Which is why I said this generation. The 2000's is the age of technology.

  173. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    What happens on the internet takes effect on everyone's personality.

  174. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Heh, talk about it. One of my sisters is practically glued to her Ipod. One of my cousins is either on her phone or on her ipad and then there is an occasion or two when she isn't on either. :P

  175. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Im fine with it as long as it flows with the whole essay

  176. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Have you heard how japans women love the look of bags under their eyes and crooked teeth? o.o

  177. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Um no this is a first :o

  178. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Look.

    1 Attachment
  179. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    O.O Really?!?!?!?!?

  180. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Thats weird

  181. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    LOL, guess I'm attractive by Japan's standards

  182. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Wow.. I put tea bags on my eyes if they look swollen

  183. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    This is a good example of how beauty does not exist. It is the illusion our mind goes under of what the people around us "think" is pretty.

  184. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yeah

  185. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Japan thinks looking like a child who just stopped crying is beautiful.

  186. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Yeah, like Nicki Manaj running around on stage in an outfit that would get you arrested if you ran around with that on on the streets

  187. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yep.. Anything else that needs to be changed?

  188. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    1 Attachment
  189. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Hold on.

  190. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Give me the new story, I forgot what we changed already. :P

  191. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Sorry, I have to get going again. Gotta finish up my school. Bye! ^_^

  192. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Ewwww Im now scarred for life... Good like on your paper @YoungStudier

  193. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    with the recent changes.

  194. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    With society's definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. A woman's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that in today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty Conventional beauty has caused low body image in women, and low self-esteem. Women compare themselves to other women because they want to be accepted. This has prompted some women to self harm and/or hate themselves. It has created eating disorders in teenage girls and young women, but males can have eating disorders as well. This is from dieting being taken too far, people commenting or change in appearance, smaller waist. Causing women who are dieting to continue, because of the change, they lose sight of what they wanted and focus on what society, in general, wants. Many things can cause eating disorders to begin, stress is one of the top causes. Stress can be from anything, school, employment, thinking about the future. Sports or activities can also increase the risk, such as dancing or gymnastics. Beauty standards throughout time have changed, but all women are compared to these standards. Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face, from this era to post modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet, and a whole bunch more. Because of these standards women have gone to great lengths, in Victorian England women wore corsets to achieve the ideal body shape; today women regularly get plastic surgery to achieve their desired look, or wear a wig to change their hair color and put on enormous amounts of makeup. Once the makeups off, who will recognize the beautiful young woman before them? Some women who change their appearance might have low self-esteem. They feel down about themselves and think that they have to change. However, this is not the case for other women who change just because they think it's cool and want to be part of the popular crowd. A woman's natural beauty is real and not an illusion. A thin, tall and average sized foot girl or a curvy, short, and fair skinned girl are both beautiful. No matter what women look like, we are all beautiful. Inside and out we all have our own combination of qualities, shape, color, or size that is pleasing especially to sight. Plato quoted "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," the beholder is yourself.

  195. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Sorry about that.. I believe this one has all of the changes

  196. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am making changes, hold on.

  197. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay

  198. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Just reading the third paragraph and see "wig".

  199. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am guilty of that. :P

  200. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT WIGS ARE A LOT BETTER THAN REAL HAIR. o.o But I have super short hair, so of course I would advertise wigs. :P

  201. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    What if the wig is made of real hair? Ive donated hair before.. And I added in wig because on fb I saw these pictures of this girl putting on so much makeup and a red wig that she looked nothing like her self

  202. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I don't wear makeup unless it is mascara or a little concealer in some areas to hide red pimples that stand out. (not all over my face like most women) I also wear wigs that are my natural hair color, so it's cool. :P I actually donated hair myself, about 14" . It's why my hair is so short.

  203. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Mascara is just because it makes my brown eyes stand out a little more :P

  204. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    oh lol.. If you have a pimple put honey on it for over an hour and it will go away

  205. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I know :O same with toothpaste

  206. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Concealer is a last minute thing for me. I don't wear it usually.

  207. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yeah but toothpaste makes you smell like mint.. Honey makes you smell sweet

  208. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    True :P I belong to a family of beekeepers so honestly... I always smell like honey any way :P

  209. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Nice lol

  210. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I finished! :O

  211. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Oh good.. Find anything??

  212. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    With societies definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big, because of these new standards of how a women are suppose to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe that to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. A woman's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that in today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty Conventional beauty has caused low body image in women, and low self-esteem. Women compare their appearences to other womens because they want to be accepted. This has prompted some women to self harm and/or hate themselves. It has also created eating disorders in teenage girls and young women. This is from dieting being taken too far. people comment on change in appearance, causing women who are dieting to continue, because of the change, they lose sight of what they wanted and focus on what society, in general, wants. Many things can cause eating disorders to begin, stress is one of the top causes. Stress can be from anything, school, employment, thinking about the future. Sports or activities can also increase the risk, such as dancing or gymnastics. Beauty standards throughout time have changed, but all women are compared to these standards. Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face, from this era to post modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet, and a whole bunch more. Because of these standards women have gone to great lengths, in Victorian England women wore corsets to achieve the ideal body shape; today women regularly get plastic surgery to achieve their desired look, or wear a wig to change their hair color and put on enormous amounts of makeup. Once the makeups off, who will recognize the beautiful young woman before them? Some women who change their appearance might have low self-esteem. They feel down about themselves and think that they have to change. However, this is not the case for other women who change just because they think it's cool and want to be part of the popular crowd. A woman's natural beauty is real and not an illusion. A thin, tall and average sized foot girl or a curvy, short, and fair skinned girl are both beautiful. No matter what women look like, we are all beautiful. Inside and out we all have our own combination of qualities, shape, color, or size that is pleasing especially to sight. Plato quoted "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder," the beholder is yourself.

  213. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    small things.

  214. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Alright :) Thank you.. Does the thesis cover the requirements though?????

  215. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Ooops. what are the requirements?

  216. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    yes, we have cover more than two topics, and most of the essay is subjective. pouring our personal opinions in it.

  217. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Is their anything else the teacher is expecting?

  218. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    *there

  219. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Could you type the thesis on here while I look at the assignment

  220. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    the central thesis is that women should not feel obligated to look and mold themselves into something they are not.

  221. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    My last sentence for the intro doesnt say that

  222. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    It has to be 3rd person objective point of view, good transitions

  223. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    If your not sure (like me) I can give you a metal and close this question. Post a new question about the thesis and see if someone else can help us

  224. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am thinking :P

  225. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay

  226. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    The central thesis is that today's generation, there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty.

  227. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Do you feel more comfortable with that Thesis statement?

  228. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    "The central thesis" I dont think I can put in an essay

  229. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    "In today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty."

  230. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay I like that

  231. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    But it needs to include your subjective definition of the topic (beauty) and include a preview of the two areas discussed in the two body paragraphs.. Conventional beauty and beauty standards

  232. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I was just saying that's the Thesis. :P I did not mean to say that was the sentence.

  233. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I thought that was the essay requirement?

  234. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty, including the unrealistic face stature, weight, and height.

  235. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Im lost O.o

  236. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    With society's definition of real beauty in the world today, the media makes it difficult for a girl to be comfortable with her body. Society, in general, persuades young women to feel that any size above a two is too big because of these new standards of what women are supposed to look like, young women seem to think that they need to do anything in order to stay small, such as dieting, what they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean they are going on a diet. They also believe, to be beautiful they need to change their body with makeup, tanning, and dyeing their hair. A woman's beauty is based off of what is generally believed, or accepted. It seems that in today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty, including the unrealistic face stature, weight, and height. "It seems that in today's generation there are standards to follow, in order for women to get a grasp on beauty, including the unrealistic face stature, weight, and height."-- This is the thesis statement correct?

  237. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    yes.

  238. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay! And that covers the requirements??

  239. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    That is for you to decide. do you feel like that fits your personal opinion? and covers what the essay talk about?

  240. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Sorry im freaking out because this will be my first graded essay and my classmates will see this thesis statement

  241. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    I am sure your classmates feel the same way.

  242. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yes it does fit my personal opinion. I think it does cover the essay.. Im not sure

  243. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Your good to go, brah.

  244. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    maybe you could call in a mod to check.

  245. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Alright thank you

  246. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Just in case. Because I am not in college after all. :P

  247. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Any ideas on a title?

  248. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    "Society v.s Beauty"

  249. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Thats good

  250. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    @TheSmartOne Please check our work on the thesis statement. :) We are a bit confused.

  251. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Im going to close this question and open a new one.. See what other people think. okay?

  252. Afrodiddle
    • one year ago
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    Alright.

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