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Destinyyyy

  • one year ago

Can someone look over my essay before I turn it in? Thank you. Im worried that my thesis statement is not good

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  1. readergirl12
    • one year ago
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    I liked it alot. You get a medal for your hard work.. :D

  2. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Thank you. Did the thesis statement look good?? @readergirl12

  3. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy , could I make a suggetion? "What they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean that they are going on a diet." I only added the word "that" for the sentence, it seems to flow a tad bit better.

  4. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    "It seems that in today's generation, there are standards to follow in order for women to get a grasp on beauty." I added a comma and a period in this sentence, I hope I don't sound nit-picky. I'm just making suggestions. ^_^

  5. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    "Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were: slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face. " I added a colon

  6. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    "From this era to post-modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet and a whole horde more." I switched the word horde in for bunch.

  7. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Other than that, it's perfect! ^_^

  8. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    @Destinyyyy are you there?

  9. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Yes sorry.. Was taking a quiz. Let me read what you said above

  10. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Or perhaps for the last one I suggested: "From this era to post-modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet and a whole list more of principles."

  11. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    I added in your suggestion on the comma. And I didn't notice that I didn't have a period. For the other ones I will be leaving them how that are. Thank you

  12. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    Okay, ^_^ No problem.

  13. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    As for your thesis, I think it's fine. ^_^

  14. Destinyyyy
    • one year ago
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    Okay thank you

  15. YoungStudier
    • one year ago
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    You're Welcome!

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