Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Can someone look over my essay before I turn it in? Thank you. Im worried that my thesis statement is not good
English
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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SOLVED
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
schrodinger
  • schrodinger
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readergirl12
  • readergirl12
I liked it alot. You get a medal for your hard work.. :D
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Thank you. Did the thesis statement look good?? @readergirl12
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
@Destinyyyy , could I make a suggetion? "What they misunderstand is that making their food intake smaller does not mean that they are going on a diet." I only added the word "that" for the sentence, it seems to flow a tad bit better.

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YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
"It seems that in today's generation, there are standards to follow in order for women to get a grasp on beauty." I added a comma and a period in this sentence, I hope I don't sound nit-picky. I'm just making suggestions. ^_^
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
"Beginning in Ancient Egypt the standards were: slender, narrow shoulders, high waist and a symmetrical face. " I added a colon
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
"From this era to post-modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet and a whole horde more." I switched the word horde in for bunch.
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
Other than that, it's perfect! ^_^
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
@Destinyyyy are you there?
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Yes sorry.. Was taking a quiz. Let me read what you said above
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
Or perhaps for the last one I suggested: "From this era to post-modern beauty today the standards have been thin, full bodied, curvy, full lips, tall, boyish, small feet and a whole list more of principles."
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
I added in your suggestion on the comma. And I didn't notice that I didn't have a period. For the other ones I will be leaving them how that are. Thank you
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
Okay, ^_^ No problem.
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
As for your thesis, I think it's fine. ^_^
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Okay thank you
YoungStudier
  • YoungStudier
You're Welcome!

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