Shirley27
  • Shirley27
Please help look over the first body paragraph of this essay. Thanks!
Writing
chestercat
  • chestercat
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At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

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Shirley27
  • Shirley27
anonymous
  • anonymous
I like the body paragraph a lot. The last sentence feels a tad bit out of place mostly due just to the way it's worded. Try and possibly re-word that if you can at all. It sounds to choppy.
Shirley27
  • Shirley27
Thank you so much!!! @jonnyshaw10

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