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Sorry I lost connection. You have done a pretty good job. I would suggest minor things. Try and make sure your sentences don't stat with "and". Another is to be sure your stating real facts. In the first paragraph you had said " resorts have certain things some people can’t live without even for a short period of time, such as air conditioning/heat, a comfy bed, a toilet with a door and lock, room service or restaurants, and no bugs." which are all things people can actually live without. One more thing I recommend is to try and find something positive about camping. This way it can sound a little more like a comparison essay and not an opinion essay. For example you could say " Although resorts have a lot of modern day perks, being outside allows you to go out of our technological society and breath real fresh air." or " However nice, walls of a resort can never allow you the star light and freedom of camping."
I said "some people" because some people really cant live without these things. For example my cousin is allergic to mosquito so for her no bugs is good. And its my thesis statement.. Okay I can try that. But my professor wants me to state which one I prefer clearly throughout the essay.
Ok then. Your doing great if what your teachers looking for is your preference. Happy some of the advice helped (hopefully). Good luck on your paper!
Is your cousin really allergic to the bug itself? I've never heard that before interesting
Yeah. If it just lands on her and does nothing she breaks out and turns red... I try some of what you said and tag you when its finished or almost finished. Thank you
Don't mention it. Best of luck to you and your cousin :)
Jus short of time but i would like to contribute a little. You did explained your selection but however your choice seems to be a bit confusing to the reader. Some reasons or rectifications i could analyse or suggest are: Don't use strong words like you do 'love' for the option which you are going to reject because it would indirectly add up to the positive points of your selected option/s. Usually when you are going to explain your choice you should be more concentrating on the pull factors(the positive factors of choice) and the push factors(the negative factors of your rejected option) so this essay has some postive points of the rejected option too. I could advice you on few more points too and if you need to have some more specific or stronger points, you can let me know! Regards, Hassaan Sources: Professional Communication Exams
Okay. And anything else you have to add will be helpful. Thank you