Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Assistance with two separate peer reviews on two thesis statement based on the four questions below.
English
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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jamiebookeater
  • jamiebookeater
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Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Use the following questions as a guideline and comment on two other classmate's thesis statements. Remember, the task here is to offer constructive criticism. -Does the writer provide a valid assertion and points for Comparison or Contrast? -Will the areas he/she previews adequately support and/or develop that topic? Are they set up using parallel structure? -What revisions would you suggest?
anonymous
  • anonymous
is this multiple choice
anonymous
  • anonymous
What do you think the answer is?

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Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
? Its not multiple choice.. And i dont have an answer.. Im asking for other people to give their opinions -based on the questions above- on the thesis statements I posted
anonymous
  • anonymous
I think your thesis statements are really good! They compare and contrast nicely, and they can easily support the topic! I think there's a typo in your first one that you might want to fix though ;)
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Neither of the thesis statements are mine.. I need two separate peer reviews on them based off of the questions above.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
hello :)
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
i dont really know what the "parallel" structure is, but @foodles answered the 2 of the 3 questions.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
you questions do not ask for a "why"
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
"I think your thesis statements are really good! They compare and contrast nicely, and they can easily support the topic!" this answers q1
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
" I think there's a typo in your first one that you might want to fix though" this answers q3
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
i dont know anything about the "parallel" structure
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
as for the typo i found two, or at least two things that can be improved.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
short of traditional here i would put "fall short compared to traditional"
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
second, put a period in front of "in the fact"
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
also you never want a thesis to be to long.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
hope i helped :)
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
but give the medal to @foodles as he was the one that answered first ^.^
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Im not asking for "why" I just need two separate peer reviews. I cant really use the same response "I think your thesis statement is really good! They compare and contrast nicely, and they can easily support the topic!" on two different thesis statements.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
rephrase it
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
for example...
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
Wow i love the words you used. They really....
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Can you please stop putting everything in separate responses.. Its annoying to scroll up and down to read all of them.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Ill work with what you gave me. Thank you.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
oops, sorry for the inconvenience. Anyways good luck :)!
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Would you mind helping with another one?
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
sure, also would you mind also looking at my question :)
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Sorry but I haven't read Macbeth since my junior year in high school. Which was about 3 years ago.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
i havent read it all, the point is to decipher the excerpt o3o
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
it at all*
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
Anywas, you are being asked to choose one and provide it with other ideas. Or choose two and provide it with ideas?
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Choose two
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
ok lets begin with option three. This one is quite simple. Just provide other ideas. so... The kindle runs on electricity, meaning it must be charged. This also raises your electric bill, and if by chance it dies, u can not read. a pro is that it can contain multiple thousand page books with out needing to strain your back.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
next lets go with option 2. For this one lets offer a completly new idea. Instead of it being love rollercoasters vs. love rollercosters, lets offer the idea of fear of love vs. fear of a roller coaster, or love a roller coaster vs. loving someone. similarities -people may be afraid of it not ending well -they love it but end up having to part ways -it may be fun at first till you find out it isnt as safe as you had hoped it would be. contrast -roller coasters are more thrilling - you have no controll about what a roller coaster does -etc.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
I used an informal tone, if you are turning this in specially to a professor make sure to revise the punctuation.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
as well as the grammar, more "powerful" and "impact full" words can be used than the ones i have provided.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Im posting these under their thesis statements. So other students and my professor will see it.. I dont think I can change her ideas like that with the love roller coaster.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
The first one for number 3 is good.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
No... don't change the thesis. Change what i said. I used basic words. Wowing the professor with college grammar can earn his favoritism. This is beneficial in future cases, for example if you are late or don't turn something in on time.
jennyrlz
  • jennyrlz
Anyways i must go, i have to do research to find out the answer to my question.

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