Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Could a few people look over my essay and see if I need to revise anything and help with conclusion before I turn it in.. Its my final grade that will determine if I keep my B in the class or if it turns into a C. Thank you.
English
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At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
schrodinger
  • schrodinger
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Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
I also could use some ideas to add on to the conclusion. I currently only have 3 sentences.
anonymous
  • anonymous
Its great just how it is. but yea a few more sentences at the end. im not much of a essay guy but yours was good.

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Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Alright thank you.
anonymous
  • anonymous
It's nice good grammar , everything you should do great . :)
anonymous
  • anonymous
yea its okay
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Okay thank you.. Any ideas on what to add to the conclusion?
anonymous
  • anonymous
Umm message?
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
?
Kash_TheSmartGuy
  • Kash_TheSmartGuy
I can't open it! Can you post in reply section? And sry for yesterday, I had to go
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Reflective Essay- A reflective paper is a type of writing that examines and observes the advancement of the author's individual experience. While reflective papers clarify and break down the advancement of the author, they likewise examine future objectives. For this course I have composed an aggregate of four expositions and for each one I have encountered difficulties along the way. I will discuss the experiences, and processes or methods I have utilized or had with every paper. The processes and methods I use to create my papers are most likely similar to several other individuals. For example my paper on cause/effect I looked over the guidelines and chose three topics which were, discuss three good effects of a college education, the cause for divorce, and effects of separation. I then thought of ideas, for example, great lucrative employment, advanced education, causes; cheating/absence of responsibility, abuse/too much belligerence, marrying too young, and effects; children are effected, emotional for both parties, and financially. After that I chose the topic effects of separation from the three I initially pick. I picked this particular subject in light of the fact that I felt more comfortable and knowledgeable about it. Presently I officially begin writing, I start with the introduction, for the most part a definition of the theme like "Separation is the lawful disintegration of a marriage by a court or other skillful body. "including a sentence or two after then the thesis statement that demonstrates to the reader a brief sneak peak of what my supposition is on the subject I am examining and a few principle focuses. I draft together the body passages with the first sentence expressing the principle point, then I look over and update what I have and request that another person do likewise. Finally I write and review my conclusion and arrangement the whole essay in MLA format with double space. I will proceed with these same steps with conceivable new additions with any composition I may have outside of this course. My personal experience with the four papers I have composed have been great and awful, I would measure it up to a roller coaster. Concocting thoughts was simple and fun, however the procedure of articulating some of my thoughts on paper was a tad challenging, such as sitting tight in line for the ride and attempting to pull the safety belt down so it is sufficiently close to not make the rider feel like they are falling out. Creating a thesis statement I experienced some difficulty on the first paper. Definition and example, however, I got more practice as I did the others. By the last paper, cause or effect, I had no inconvenience generating my thesis statement. It was similar to waiting in line and chickening out on asking one of the employees if me and my companions or family could sit in the front row. By the fifth ride and witnessing others ask, though, I at last had the strength to request to sit in the front row. I accept I could in any case learn more on transitioning and word choice, I would consider transition's to be a weakness of mine when composing. As I expressed above, I could utilize some new additions in the procedures and strategies I use to make my essays and work on transitions. When I become stuck while writing I should to enjoy a short reprieve and return to it. My impression of the techniques/forms and encounters I have had while composing my previous papers have opened my eyes and demonstrated to me not to surrender and to invest more energy, for example, rehearsing and doing examination on my shortcomings with composing.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Its fine.. I got a 68 on it.. So I have to do good on this essay to keep my current grade.. I need a sentence or two added onto the conclusion.
Kash_TheSmartGuy
  • Kash_TheSmartGuy
Corrections: Comma after "presently" line 10 paragraph 2. Change "begin" to "began" line 10 paragraph 2. Capitalize "including" line 11 paragraph 2. Write a shorter sentence which begins on line 11 paragraph 2. Comma after "finally" line 17 paragraph 2. Comma after "statement" line 6 paragraph 3. Comma before "in" line 12 paragraph 3 and comma after "case" line 12 paragraph 3. Comments: Great vocab, awesome transition words use. Add a few more lines to the last paragraph. Otherwise - Awesome!
muscrat123
  • muscrat123
u got a 68 on what?
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Alright Ill fix them @Kash_TheSmartGuy what should I add to the conclusion? I got a 68 on that test yesterday that was 50 questions @muscrat123
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Are you talking about making this sentence shorter??- Presently, I officially begin writing, I start with the introduction, for the most part a definition of the theme like "Separation is the lawful disintegration of a marriage by a court or other skillful body. " including a sentence or two after then the thesis statement that demonstrates to the reader a brief sneak peak of what my supposition is on the subject I am examining and a few principle focuses.
Kash_TheSmartGuy
  • Kash_TheSmartGuy
Don't end it with an example, end it with your opinion and what you think everyone should do. No I was talking about this sentence: I then thought of ideas, for example, great lucrative employment, advanced education, causes; cheating/absence of responsibility, abuse/too much belligerence, marrying too young, and effects; children are effected, emotional for both parties, and financially.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Oh okay.. What should I remove? And what?? What do you mean "what you think everyone should do. "
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Reflective Essay- A reflective paper is a type of writing that examines and observes the advancement of the author's individual experience. While reflective papers clarify and break down the advancement of the author, they likewise examine future objectives. For this course I have composed an aggregate of four expositions and for each one I have encountered difficulties along the way. I will discuss the experiences, and processes or methods I have utilized or had with every paper. The processes and methods I use to create my papers are most likely similar to several other individuals. For example my paper on cause/effect I looked over the guidelines and chose three topics which were, discuss three good effects of a college education, the cause for divorce, and effects of separation. I then thought of ideas, for example, great lucrative employment, advanced education, causes; cheating/absence of responsibility, abuse/too much belligerence, marrying too young, and effects; children are effected, emotional for both parties, and financially. After that I chose the topic effects of separation from the three I initially pick. I picked this particular subject in light of the fact that I felt more comfortable and knowledgeable about it. Presently, I officially begin writing, I start with the introduction, for the most part a definition of the theme like "Separation is the lawful disintegration of a marriage by a court or other skillful body. " including a sentence or two after then the thesis statement that demonstrates to the reader a brief sneak peak of what my supposition is on the subject I am examining and a few principle focuses. I draft together the body passages with the first sentence expressing the principle point, then I look over and update what I have and request that another person do likewise. Finally, I write and review my conclusion and arrangement the whole essay in MLA format with double space. I will proceed with these same steps with conceivable new additions with any composition I may have outside of this course. My personal experience with the four papers I have composed have been great and awful, I would measure it up to a roller coaster. Concocting thoughts was simple and fun, however the procedure of articulating some of my thoughts on paper was a tad challenging, such as sitting tight in line for the ride and attempting to pull the safety belt down so it is sufficiently close to not make the rider feel like they are falling out. Creating a thesis statement, I experienced some difficulty on the first paper. Definition and example, however, I got more practice as I did the others. By the last paper, cause or effect, I had no inconvenience generating my thesis statement. It was similar to waiting in line and chickening out on asking one of the employees if me and my companions or family could sit in the front row. By the fifth ride and witnessing others ask, though, I at last had the strength to request to sit in the front row. I accept I could in any case, learn more on transitioning and word choice, I would consider transition's to be a weakness of mine when composing. As I expressed above, I could utilize some new additions in the procedures and strategies I use to make my essays and work on transitions. When I become stuck while writing I should to enjoy a short reprieve and return to it. My impression of the techniques/forms and encounters I have had while composing my previous papers have opened my eyes and demonstrated to me not to surrender and to invest more energy, for example, rehearsing and doing examination on my shortcomings with composing.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
@SweetPeaGirl @Teddyiswatshecallsme
anonymous
  • anonymous
what do you need me to do? i think you got lots of great feedback up there
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Another set of eyes to look over it.. And help me please with the conclusion!! I need to turn this in
anonymous
  • anonymous
im not too good at writing lol im sorry
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Okay.. Do you know anyone who is??
anonymous
  • anonymous
hmmm....not really sure at the moment.
Destinyyyy
  • Destinyyyy
Alright thanks though
anonymous
  • anonymous
sorry i couldnt help more

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