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Should cigarette smoking be made illegal? This topic does not seem important to many people, but smoking is a huge addiction. Approximately 443,000 people die prematurely from smoking or exposure to secondhand smoke each year. Did you know that tobacco alone kills more Americans than did World War ll, more than AIDS, cocaine, heroin, alcohol, vehicular, accidents, homicide, and even suicide combined. If we allow smoking to be made legal, more children, teens, and adults will die. 50 to 67 percent of children under five live in homes with at least one adult smoker. Let alone this means they are very well exposed to cigarettes. On the other hand this is very dangerous because children bodies are still developing, and there lungs are still learning how to function correctly, but when the children breathe in the poisonous air, it can cause cancer, a coronary heart disease, stroke, it also increases the risk of having a heart attack. There are many other things that can happen when inhaling smoke secondhand. Cigarette smoking does not help anyone, not the person smoking it, and definitely not the person close to the person smoking, inhaling the smoke. Either how, no kind of smoking should be encouraged or supported. They can both lead to death, or behavioral issues, and even diseases. Furthermore smoking causes you to have bad breath, and it ruins your teeth and gums. According to “therealcost.betobaccofree” smoking can cause you to have wrinkles, and stained teeth, and also bad breath. No one should promote cigarette smoking because it can cause difficulty to exercise, blood clotting, high blood pressure, it also robs you of your good cholesterol. Moreover a quote once said by Anthony Liccione, "Rather than you smoking a cigarette, the cigarette is really smoking you". If smoking isn’t good for children, then why should it be good for adults? Smoking can make you cough and it can cause you to have asthma. This information was found at “ How cigarettes damage your body” American Heart Association Also I am asking my readers to stand and fight against having cigarette smoking be legal. Furthermore protect the children from having to struggle all there life because their mother smoked when they for still in the wound. Moreover protect the kids who have parents who smoke in the house and leave it around. Also protect the teens who don’t know any better because they don’t have good examples. You can help the world by just a few phone calls, and a lot of petitions. Gather your friends and family and start a parade to help convince the government to change the laws about smoking! Its just a few calls, and a few complaints that can help make a difference in today’s society. Take action and fight for what is right!
There is an unnecessary comma between the word vehicular accidents in the first paragraph. There should be an exclamation point at the end of par. 1
This passage or excerpt seems very long, try to shorten it by using contractions etc. This passage also seems negative, try avoiding words like "not, no" etc."
Paragraph two also has repetitive sentences.
Where are the repetitive sentences?