anonymous
  • anonymous
can someone check and see if this is a good intro
English
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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SOLVED
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
katieb
  • katieb
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anonymous
  • anonymous
@dazednightdreams
anonymous
  • anonymous
This is really good. Nice job!
anonymous
  • anonymous
lol thank you! should i add anything ?

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anonymous
  • anonymous
From my perspective, its fine the way it is. Just ask more people for their opinion on it.
anonymous
  • anonymous
alright thank someone is typing i'll wait.
anonymous
  • anonymous
Hmm... The thing is that the introduction is too long. In English, we were taught to keep it two to three sentences long. With that being said, though, you do have to make sure that you get your points in, which will be analyzed and described in your body paragraphs. Also, I'm going to take a guess that this is a formal writing piece, which means that starting off with "Hey!" probably isn't a good idea. It's too loose, as if you know the reader and are close friends with them. The goal with this kind of writing is to deliver information while keeping it as informative as possible. It's okay to throw in a question once in a while, as long as you answer it either directly or through an anecdote of some sort. Hope this helps!
anonymous
  • anonymous
@SwampKing28
anonymous
  • anonymous
it helps but, i'm trying to caught the readers attention.
anonymous
  • anonymous
@KyanTheDoodle
anonymous
  • anonymous
is their any grammar or miss spelled words on here?
anonymous
  • anonymous
@toriacx
anonymous
  • anonymous
I think it's really good ! it caught my attention. From the first sentence i wanted to know what you were talking about, great job ! (:
anonymous
  • anonymous
I also think the length is fine , i wouldn't go any longer then that though. and ill look for any grammar mistakes now
anonymous
  • anonymous
ohh really?? and ok thank you.
anonymous
  • anonymous
@Echosmith
anonymous
  • anonymous
@nerlineg SO you are on FLVS English III Module 7?
anonymous
  • anonymous
yeah and your welcome . noticed* , i would also put the questions that were on the test. other then that i don't see anything else wrong
anonymous
  • anonymous
If it's English III, definitely take into account what I said to make the MLA gods happy
anonymous
  • anonymous
okay thank you @toriacx and yes @Echosmith
anonymous
  • anonymous
I am doing the same rite now wats your teacher?
anonymous
  • anonymous
Your welcome (:
anonymous
  • anonymous
um i tern it in already, and got a 98% i just needed to fix some err which i've a;ready done
anonymous
  • anonymous
um mrs. L
anonymous
  • anonymous
Oh I got Mrs. C she is rude and never answers her phone
anonymous
  • anonymous
Like most FLVS Teachers
anonymous
  • anonymous
lmao o.o my teacher nice i love her
anonymous
  • anonymous
if you need help with anything you let me know ok
anonymous
  • anonymous
Thank you @nerlineg will do
EclipsedStar
  • EclipsedStar
I'm assuming that a comment was deleted, because I don't know what the intro even is...
anonymous
  • anonymous
probably
anonymous
  • anonymous
@EclipsedStar and @KlTTYi took it down b.c i didn't wont no one copying and pasting my work . sorry about that.... :/ i also forgot to close this question. but thanks for trying to help.. if i need and help i'll tag you guys.
anonymous
  • anonymous
@KlTTY
EclipsedStar
  • EclipsedStar
Ok, sure. :)

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