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anonymous

  • one year ago

can someone check and see if this is a good intro

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  1. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @dazednightdreams

  2. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    This is really good. Nice job!

  3. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    lol thank you! should i add anything ?

  4. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    From my perspective, its fine the way it is. Just ask more people for their opinion on it.

  5. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    alright thank someone is typing i'll wait.

  6. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Hmm... The thing is that the introduction is too long. In English, we were taught to keep it two to three sentences long. With that being said, though, you do have to make sure that you get your points in, which will be analyzed and described in your body paragraphs. Also, I'm going to take a guess that this is a formal writing piece, which means that starting off with "Hey!" probably isn't a good idea. It's too loose, as if you know the reader and are close friends with them. The goal with this kind of writing is to deliver information while keeping it as informative as possible. It's okay to throw in a question once in a while, as long as you answer it either directly or through an anecdote of some sort. Hope this helps!

  7. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @SwampKing28

  8. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    it helps but, i'm trying to caught the readers attention.

  9. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @KyanTheDoodle

  10. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    is their any grammar or miss spelled words on here?

  11. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @toriacx

  12. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I think it's really good ! it caught my attention. From the first sentence i wanted to know what you were talking about, great job ! (:

  13. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I also think the length is fine , i wouldn't go any longer then that though. and ill look for any grammar mistakes now

  14. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    ohh really?? and ok thank you.

  15. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @Echosmith

  16. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @nerlineg SO you are on FLVS English III Module 7?

  17. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    yeah and your welcome . noticed* , i would also put the questions that were on the test. other then that i don't see anything else wrong

  18. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    If it's English III, definitely take into account what I said to make the MLA gods happy

  19. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    okay thank you @toriacx and yes @Echosmith

  20. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I am doing the same rite now wats your teacher?

  21. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Your welcome (:

  22. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    um i tern it in already, and got a 98% i just needed to fix some err which i've a;ready done

  23. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    um mrs. L

  24. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Oh I got Mrs. C she is rude and never answers her phone

  25. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Like most FLVS Teachers

  26. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    lmao o.o my teacher nice i love her

  27. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    if you need help with anything you let me know ok

  28. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    Thank you @nerlineg will do

  29. EclipsedStar
    • one year ago
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    I'm assuming that a comment was deleted, because I don't know what the intro even is...

  30. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    probably

  31. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @EclipsedStar and @KlTTYi took it down b.c i didn't wont no one copying and pasting my work . sorry about that.... :/ i also forgot to close this question. but thanks for trying to help.. if i need and help i'll tag you guys.

  32. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @KlTTY

  33. EclipsedStar
    • one year ago
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    Ok, sure. :)

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