"WHY!?" His voice roared. Inevitably, I couldn't answer. I couldn't trust my voice.
"Why.." he said again, this time softer.
"It takes the pain away" I choked. His rough fingers traced the cuts softly, then he brought his lips to my arm and kissed them. Then his tear-glossed eyes looked up to meet mine.
"Don't do it again." He mumbled against my skin.
"O..Okay." I stuttered.
Promise... That word has a lot of meaning. A word that could easily be broken. I sighed.
"I promise." I said to him, crossing my fingers behind my back and leaning in to kiss him.
~~1 week and 3 days later~~
I was currently in the bathroom, staring at a broken piece of glass from the mirror. I sat on the floor, legs crossed together, arguing with myself if I should slice my wrist with the broken glass, or if I should keep to my promise. So fast that I couldn't even comprehend what I was doing, I grabbed the sharpest piece of glass and moved my bracelets down my arm, staring at the old scars that stained my wrist.
"Let's bring you to life." I whispered as I slashed the sharp glass shard against my wrist. I saw the blood trickle down my arm and dripping onto my leg.
In my mind, I started to panic.
I promised, I just broke it.
I grabbed a towel off the rack and soaked it with water, wiping the blood off of my wrist and then bending over, looking in the cabinet for some Hydrogen Peroxide. When I found it, I quickly laid my wrist out in front of me over the sink and poured it on my wrist. I heard a soft knock on the door.
"Love, are you alright?" I heard his velvet sweet voice ask. I bit my lip.
"Yeah, baby.. I'll be right out." I replied as I flushed the toilet, stuffing the towel in my back pocket, blood side in the pocket, the rest of it hanging out.
"Okay!" I opened the door and smiled at him. He smiled back and hugged me. And as he did, I rolled my bracelets back down and snuggled my head into his neck.
~2 days later~
I looked at him, biting my lip as he lifted weights.
He doesn't know that I'm only 1 day clean. He thinks I'm 1 week and 5 days. He's wrong, but I'm sure as hell not going to tell him that.
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i understand how he feels
but i also understand how she feels when you go to a dark place it can be hard to come out.