anonymous
  • anonymous
poem critic and let me know opinions
English
schrodinger
  • schrodinger
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At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

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anonymous
  • anonymous
I find my life eh… I find me as mh… I wish I was… Today was tomorrow! Tomorrow is yesterday! I hope… I need… I’m screwed? I find the light in tomorrow. But I find the strength in today. My life is a shadow Of the world. My might is the beauty of me. But sometimes I lose it. Sometimes it just turns black. And I lose sight of myself… Eventually Velma finds her glasses. So eventually I’ll find the light. Eventually I will find me. Eventually will be today. Because “I’m trying” is never tomorrow. It’s now or it’s in the distance. Strength is a shimmer And a shimmer helps you find the light. Break the patterns not yourself.
AnimalLover8
  • AnimalLover8
I think about things in a weird way, so I kinda like it. It has good structure and a v line in there, so good there, but I think the main dislike of mine was the Scooby-do refrence. It wasn't right for the lime, but otherwise it is ok, I think. Thanks for being artistic and unconventional! <3Danni
AnimalLover8
  • AnimalLover8
reference*

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AnimalLover8
  • AnimalLover8
Am I leaving anything out?
anonymous
  • anonymous
@AnimalLover8 thank you so much i find this really helpful and i tend to write differently then most would and thats what i go for. The reference i knew would be a risk but its the one way to describe how i was feeling. But i do appreciate you telling me how you felt it helps me with future writings as well as current
anonymous
  • anonymous
i think im going to change that line to a question mark rather than a period
AnimalLover8
  • AnimalLover8
No problem hon. <3
AnimalLover8
  • AnimalLover8
If I was going to add a question mark on that line I'd make it "Eventually Velma finds her glasses, right?", to involve the reader in a moment. Just my opinion again. Hope this helps. <3
anonymous
  • anonymous

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