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anonymous

  • one year ago

poem critic and let me know opinions

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  1. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I find my life eh… I find me as mh… I wish I was… Today was tomorrow! Tomorrow is yesterday! I hope… I need… I’m screwed? I find the light in tomorrow. But I find the strength in today. My life is a shadow Of the world. My might is the beauty of me. But sometimes I lose it. Sometimes it just turns black. And I lose sight of myself… Eventually Velma finds her glasses. So eventually I’ll find the light. Eventually I will find me. Eventually will be today. Because “I’m trying” is never tomorrow. It’s now or it’s in the distance. Strength is a shimmer And a shimmer helps you find the light. Break the patterns not yourself.

  2. AnimalLover8
    • one year ago
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    I think about things in a weird way, so I kinda like it. It has good structure and a v line in there, so good there, but I think the main dislike of mine was the Scooby-do refrence. It wasn't right for the lime, but otherwise it is ok, I think. Thanks for being artistic and unconventional! <3Danni

  3. AnimalLover8
    • one year ago
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    reference*

  4. AnimalLover8
    • one year ago
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    Am I leaving anything out?

  5. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @AnimalLover8 thank you so much i find this really helpful and i tend to write differently then most would and thats what i go for. The reference i knew would be a risk but its the one way to describe how i was feeling. But i do appreciate you telling me how you felt it helps me with future writings as well as current

  6. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    i think im going to change that line to a question mark rather than a period

  7. AnimalLover8
    • one year ago
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    No problem hon. <3

  8. AnimalLover8
    • one year ago
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    If I was going to add a question mark on that line I'd make it "Eventually Velma finds her glasses, right?", to involve the reader in a moment. Just my opinion again. Hope this helps. <3

  9. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    @AnimalLover8 thanks

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