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  • one year ago

Hi. I have this essay to write. Could you look at it. Tell me if I need anything to fix and or correct? Thank you.

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  1. help_people
    • one year ago
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    @Teddyiswatshecallsme

  2. Teddyiswatshecallsme
    • one year ago
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    I'm a bit confused in this line of the third paragraph "," Shhh Grace, be still. I am failing to go find her," Failing to go find her?

  3. help_people
    • one year ago
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    Yeah Im not sure wht tht means etier. I think i wsa trying to say somehting like I cant find her.

  4. help_people
    • one year ago
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    What should I say?

  5. help_people
    • one year ago
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    Never mind i think I have it form here. Thank you . i gvace you a medal ;)

  6. Teddyiswatshecallsme
    • one year ago
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    The few couple of paragraphs are good, they could use a little grammatical help so i could understand them better. But other than that its a pretty good story. I could visualize the shadows and their conversation my only comment about that though would be to try and use some more visual words so that they your readers can actually SEE whats happening and maybe you could elaborate more on how you felt (talking about in the story) Like to convey fear, you did that well i'm just saying it would be more riveting if you elaborated on those kinds of sensory words. :D

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  7. help_people
    • one year ago
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    ok thanks !

  8. Teddyiswatshecallsme
    • one year ago
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    You're welcome.

  9. help_people
    • one year ago
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    did you delte some of it @Teddyiswatshecallsme

  10. help_people
    • one year ago
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    there is the revised version

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spraguer (Moderator)
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