help_people
  • help_people
Hi. I have this essay to write. Could you look at it. Tell me if I need anything to fix and or correct? Thank you.
English
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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SOLVED
At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
jamiebookeater
  • jamiebookeater
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help_people
  • help_people
@Teddyiswatshecallsme
Teddyiswatshecallsme
  • Teddyiswatshecallsme
I'm a bit confused in this line of the third paragraph "," Shhh Grace, be still. I am failing to go find her," Failing to go find her?
help_people
  • help_people
Yeah Im not sure wht tht means etier. I think i wsa trying to say somehting like I cant find her.

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help_people
  • help_people
What should I say?
help_people
  • help_people
Never mind i think I have it form here. Thank you . i gvace you a medal ;)
Teddyiswatshecallsme
  • Teddyiswatshecallsme
The few couple of paragraphs are good, they could use a little grammatical help so i could understand them better. But other than that its a pretty good story. I could visualize the shadows and their conversation my only comment about that though would be to try and use some more visual words so that they your readers can actually SEE whats happening and maybe you could elaborate more on how you felt (talking about in the story) Like to convey fear, you did that well i'm just saying it would be more riveting if you elaborated on those kinds of sensory words. :D
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help_people
  • help_people
ok thanks !
Teddyiswatshecallsme
  • Teddyiswatshecallsme
You're welcome.
help_people
  • help_people
did you delte some of it @Teddyiswatshecallsme
help_people
  • help_people
there is the revised version

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