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So people are forcing him to study?
He seems pretty depressed and all that... He enrolled to a shadow school becauyse he needs to pass an entrace exam to a prestigious middle school and he's done good until today but suddenly stuck in his roomnot even talking to me.
Basically he's constantly being compared to others
And for god's sake he's like 12
I'm like wtf are you guys parents doing to him?
And it's still not even a high school we are talking about.
Well if he is trying to pass an entrance exam, I wouldn't compare him to other kids because that would make him smarter than others. So instead of people telling him that he is like others, they're wrong because he sounds above average to me.
Oh well, locally he is pretty good on math. But then he enrolled in a shadow school full of my-life-is-study kids and since he isn't top of the grade and sometimes doesn't understand everything he cries and doesn't talk to anybody.
Well there is always going to be kids that are forced by their parents to be smarter than others. There is someone in my school like that too. He shouldn't be sad or mad about it because I am one of the smartest kids in my school but other kids have different opinions on that. If he is one of the smarter kids, he shouldn't worry because at least he is smarter than most 12 year olds.
Well, and I told him he should find something he really loves and pursue that instead of being forced everything and also that comparison with others is something that comes along as a by product of his pursuit... I 've reiterated over and over that having comparison as the primary goal of education was not very good idea and that anyone who studies in that in mind all the time will eventually reach a burn out point and will end up hating education....
And yes that's true you really shouldn't compare yourself or anyone because you are you and your interests and goals aren't quantifiable to even begin with.
If truely, everyone could love math and physics why are they wasting their time on more fluffy activities? I think this is the fault of our education system where we force comparison on pupils and most pupils, being not the best of the bunch, will end up feeling traumatized or associate education with somethign they would avoid at all costs.
I really think everyone's born with the same brain, but educators and adults ignore the huge implication of environmental impact.
I agree. It also bases on who the child hangs out with and if they really do pay attention in class. I can tell that your brother does care about his education but he really shouldn't compare himself to others because he's smart no matter what people say or compare him to.
Yes... and being called smart is the most dangerous inhibitor for self-improvement.
The first time someone is satisfied with self is the point beyond which no further improvement is shown.
And comparison does not really help anyone.... the best it does is make kids narcistic and reduce their feeling of urgency to actually pursue further.
I agree. Once someone tells a child or anybody that they are smart, most kids take advantage of that and continue on while others think that since they are called smart, that means that they are above average which makes them think that they shouldn't really care about further studying.
Anyways, I have to go but tell your brother that when people compare him to others, he shouldn't care because he's smart no matter what and he should know that being smart isn't a race to see who can be the smartest.
Well, comparison should be used only for statistical purpose but not as a means to motivate kids. It either makes them dull or traumatized one way or the other.
I used to be that way. I eventually stopped worrying about what other people thought about me and tried some sports like ballet and piano, which me feel better, and also let me take my mind off of schoolwork. Also, overstudying used to be a problem with me - I would get so nervous for tests that I would stop talking and hanging around with my family- and would study instead. I guess your brother needs to find something fun to do like an instrument,hobby or sport. It helped me get focused - I had fun at sports and the sports also had a benefit- they had made me to be more efficient. Main point- Extra circular activities that kids enjoy will probably make them healthier,happier, and more efficient.
I totally agree. Something over which they can feel happpy and releasled would be a good thing to have for every child. In my personal opinion it could be anything, preferably an aerobic sport, but if someone likes videogames and facebook that's ok as well I think... In fact I think people need a little break from that "tension" of academic environment.
yes- video games are okay once in a while - in fact, I play video games over the weekends sometimes
another idea - find something fun to do that takes your mind off of schoolwork or any worries