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Shooting Star You make me believe That you’re a perfect shooting star, Perfect just the way you are, Because to me, You’re perfect in every way; You never fail to make my day. Now listen to me, I truly wish you the best, Because life is more than just a test… Life is friendship, Life is good. Life is caring, Understood? Life is a lesson To be learnt. Life is time To be spent. Use time wisely, Life is short… Because you’re a perfect shooting star, Perfect just the way you are, Because to me, You perfect in every way. You never fail to make my day.
I really like it and I think that It is going to the song side then the poem side and I think you should make it into a song that would really be a great song hope my opinion help you.
Thanks!!! Your opinion helped a lot, by the way. :D
I enjoyed your poem. I think you should separate them into stanzas. Where you wrote "Life is short" it would be interesting for you to stylize the poem that it was a separate section. Basically style is to arrange words to achieve particular effects with a distinctive an unique manner. Arrangement of these word choices as well as length of sentences and structure, tone, use of irony helps express your ideas or emotion more fluently.
Do some iambic pentameter. Get on dat der shapespeare level
It is truly awesome! You are gifted!!
You are very welcome!:)
its amazing, i love it!. you are a talented poet!
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!! I really appretiate it!!!!!
(I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong. lol)
[you did but its no problem =)]
Have you seen the other poem i posted on here?
no, can we see it?
Sure! One second
BEYOND THE MOUNTAINS Beyond the mountains, Beyond the sea, There’s a land Where everything’s free. All the creatures Are willing to give Anything if it means Another could live. Some creatures in that land Are simply ordinary, While others Are quite legendary. Fairies and butterflies Flutter through the air, While birds and dragons Fly as high as they dare. Serpents and swans Skim the surface of the waters, While tiny fish play with The mermaids and their daughters. Cute little bunnies hop about And chase each other ‘round and ‘round, While reindeer prance and dance So graceful, so sound. Whether they prance through the tall, green grass, Soar through the sky that has no end, Or glide to and fro in the shimmering water, No creature lives without a friend.
It's a work in progress
well its really good anyways, i wish you luck for many other poem you make in the future[not that you need it =)]
It is so beautiful! You should have them published.
I think i'm going to! :D
Do you guys know how to do LaTex?
no i dont, but i can look it up
It is! hehe
but my mom might not really like the idea, and we dont have enough money for LaTex
love it and good job
I can teach you if you want... :D
Awesome! You are talented.
Nice poems. I think that you are very creative when it comes to words.
This is a very nice poem, but I think you could consider it to be more of a song. Though both poems and songs have a rhythm, you could consider poetry to have a more "literature-y" feel to it, especially when you read and have these sung or read out in your head. For example, the line(s): "Life is friendship, Life is good. Life is caring, Understood?" Doesn't this sound like a song more? It's one of my favorite lines, and I think it stands out. Your poem sounds like this is a mix of poem lines and song lyrics, and that's a very creative approach. While I read this work, I had this sung out in my head instead of read out. Though this can vary from person to person, I am simply giving out my own opinion, and I, as well, write poetry, so this is kind of a "poet-to-poet" situation, ha ha. Also, about your rhythm - it's perfect. No sharp, choppy cuts at all. It takes hard work to do that in a rhyming poem. Good job on that. Anyways, I enjoyed this very much. Keep on writing, and I'm looking forward to any poems you want to share in the future.
It is amazing I really liked your wording and your rhyme its seems more like a song than a poem but it still amazing.
Wow, thank you so much guys!!!!!
Holy cow man...those are amazing. I think they'd be great songs!
Thank you SO much!!!!!!
You are very welcome!
I'm really into writing...on my own terms. lol
i love it you did a amazing good