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anonymous
 one year ago
could someone help me revise my story i wrote
anonymous
 one year ago
could someone help me revise my story i wrote

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anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0Firstly, I'd like to ask what grade you are in so I can get an idea of what your teacher expects from you.

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0There are quite a few grammatical errors here; Could you possibly try to revise it yourself in any way you can before you put it up here?

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0Alright. Do you have an idea of what you need to revise? If not I'll help with that.

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0For starters you need to capitalize your I's. For example, "One day i was warming up" should be "One day I was warming up" (Left out the rest of the sentence for efficiency's sake)

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0You also need to work on when you're switching from scene to scene.

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0ya i did some work to it and it helped a lot thank you

anonymous
 one year ago
Best ResponseYou've already chosen the best response.0Do you need some help revising the work you did to it?
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