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You hit the floor hoping there was more then all these shattered pieces, and sores. She was the one you lived with, the one you laughed with, the one you loved, and now she's gone, now she's gone. She was the one you lived with, the one you laughed with, the one you loved, and now she's gone, now she's gone.
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I just wrote this....medal if you like it. If you don't well....I will try harder to write better...I guess. Leave comments on how to make it better. It's actually a song, I have music and everything. I just need to upload it to sound cloud.
I need to figure out a bridge. I have only part of it. I have the music I want for it, but still need lyrics.
It is really good. There are a lot of good writers here and you are one of them.
Thank you. I usually don't get that.
You are welcome!:)
Not bad. What so you usually write about?
I write what I feel. This one was just a scenario that I thought of. My poems are usually dark, I post a lot of them on the internet.
that was good, write more...
Oh i just wrote a poem but i dont really show them. I might if you were interested
I'm going to post some of my darker stuff. I don't write these for attention or post them for attention. I just feel as if I need someone to know that I am hurting.
I like this as a poem but I'm not really into dark stuff I don't like the way it makes me feel.But I think you definitely are a good writer.Keep it up!
Wow it's amazing u should make more
Really good :D, instead of just ending there i would add more and make it into a story :P
Also i would try using more/better words, to help paint a clearer picture. for example: You lifelessly fell to the floor. Desperately hop...etc
But still great poem :D
It's actually a song I am working on. But thanks for the comment!