At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.
Word Choice 3. Paste one paragraph that you feel could use more interesting word choice below. Revise it with more vivid wording. Pay particular attention to places where you might switch to more active verbs, use precise language, include strong details, employ figurative language, or add dialogue. Organization 4. Outline your story in the following way: First… Then… And then… Finally… 5. Identify places in your story organization where the series of events could be clearer. Transitions 6. Paste the transitions you have used to move between ideas in your story. 7. Identify any places in your story where you are not using clear transitions. Write new transitions for those parts and paste them here. Grammar, Structure, Punctuation, Spelling 8. Identify any errors in your writing mechanics and correct them here.
The beginning of this story will start off with King Pluto settling Proserpina into his palace and preparing her for the job of being his maid. With no warning whatsoever Proserpina ignores King Pluto. The reason why she ignores King Pluto is because of a flashback of her mom (Ceres) telling her (Proserpina) "Now Proserpina don't to go near seaside." King Pluto reacted to this by snapping her back into reality, telling her not to worry about her past life and anybody worrying about her because he is not a bad man and he will give her a better life than the one she once had before. After this Pluto began to think that Proserpina may try to escape and never return. For the climax of this story King Pluto goes and lives on his daily routine. When he left Proserpina started to plot her way of escaping while she is completing King Pluto's tasks. For the falling action King Pluto is preparing lunch for Proserpina. As he insists that she eats he notices that his dog is barking. He tells the dog to quiet down until he started to notice Cerberus whine. That was when he saw Ceres enter through the front door. Ceres blasts at King Pluto yelling at the top of her lungs with full rage. King Pluto put up a guilty face and said that all he wanted was to feed her and that he found her wandering in the woods so he took her to his palace. Ceres then signaled Proserpina to come to her but before she can reach her King Pluto gets a hold of her. With a grin on his face he tried to manage some kind of negotiation to make a deal with Ceres for them to live with him and be his maids, but before he can finish his sentence Ceres casts a spell on him and placed King Pluto in a death hold of vines. After the spell King Pluto then started to worry more about his life than the maid negotiation. He then reconsidered his negotiation. He gave Proserpina to Ceres and then promised never to mess with either of them again. After that Ceres let him go. Ceres is on her way out with tears of joy and relief with Proserpina. When the two finally leave his palace, King Pluto fixes himself up, goes into his master bedroom and starts thinking of other ways to get new maids.
stop tagging me my computer was loading
7) Original: With no warning : Revised: Without any warning Original: The reason why she ignores King Pluto : Revised: The only reason why she ignores King Pluto Original: When he left Proserpina : Revised: When King Pluto left, Proserpina
6) The beginning of this story, After this Pluto, For the climax, After the spell King Pluto