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MTALHAHASSAN2

  • one year ago

Can someone plz help me with my essay

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  1. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    I am writing essay on should smoking cigarettes be made illegal in canada

  2. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    Introduction Smoking tobacco cigarettes be made illegal in Canada and  around 5 million people die a year from smoking in the world 22.3 percent of them are male, 17.4 percent of them are female and 23 percent of them are teenagers. Everyone knows that smoking cigarettes bad and also knows that smoking cigarettes increases our chance of lung cancer and other fatal illnesses but they never stop smoking.  The fact that smoking has not been made illegal yet is mind blowing. Smoking is a main cause of many deaths across Canada. The simple ban of smoking in public places is not a good enough solution to the problem. Making smoking illegal is the right choice because, it causes lots of pollution, cigarettes are a waste of money and also it would help protect Canada’s youth from being affected by smoking.  

  3. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    This is my introduction paragraph

  4. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @AbdullahM

  5. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @aryandecoolest

  6. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @bestbruno

  7. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @CloverRacer

  8. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @jkm7and3

  9. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @Jhannybean

  10. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @Loser66

  11. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @AaliyahThacker3

  12. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @toxicsugar22

  13. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @HelloKitty17

  14. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @Shalante

  15. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @Jhannybean is it a good introduction paragraph or what

  16. Jhannybean
    • one year ago
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    Its a little too long, and I would say its preferable to keep your introduction 1 paragraph long.

  17. Jhannybean
    • one year ago
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    You have `smoking` in every single sentence almost, it sounds redundant.

  18. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    oh ok so what can i do to make it better

  19. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @nudeoua

  20. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    @Jhannybean i am looking for you advice

  21. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    huh??

  22. MTALHAHASSAN2
    • one year ago
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    are you guys still there or fell in sleep

  23. anonymous
    • one year ago
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    I would also get rid of mind blowing, it sounds very informal compared to the rest of the essay

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