Can someone plz help me with my essay

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Can someone plz help me with my essay

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At vero eos et accusamus et iusto odio dignissimos ducimus qui blanditiis praesentium voluptatum deleniti atque corrupti quos dolores et quas molestias excepturi sint occaecati cupiditate non provident, similique sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollitia animi, id est laborum et dolorum fuga. Et harum quidem rerum facilis est et expedita distinctio. Nam libero tempore, cum soluta nobis est eligendi optio cumque nihil impedit quo minus id quod maxime placeat facere possimus, omnis voluptas assumenda est, omnis dolor repellendus. Itaque earum rerum hic tenetur a sapiente delectus, ut aut reiciendis voluptatibus maiores alias consequatur aut perferendis doloribus asperiores repellat.

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I am writing essay on should smoking cigarettes be made illegal in canada
Introduction Smoking tobacco cigarettes be made illegal in Canada and  around 5 million people die a year from smoking in the world 22.3 percent of them are male, 17.4 percent of them are female and 23 percent of them are teenagers. Everyone knows that smoking cigarettes bad and also knows that smoking cigarettes increases our chance of lung cancer and other fatal illnesses but they never stop smoking.  The fact that smoking has not been made illegal yet is mind blowing. Smoking is a main cause of many deaths across Canada. The simple ban of smoking in public places is not a good enough solution to the problem. Making smoking illegal is the right choice because, it causes lots of pollution, cigarettes are a waste of money and also it would help protect Canada’s youth from being affected by smoking.
This is my introduction paragraph

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@Jhannybean is it a good introduction paragraph or what
Its a little too long, and I would say its preferable to keep your introduction 1 paragraph long.
You have `smoking` in every single sentence almost, it sounds redundant.
oh ok so what can i do to make it better
@Jhannybean i am looking for you advice
huh??
are you guys still there or fell in sleep
I would also get rid of mind blowing, it sounds very informal compared to the rest of the essay

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