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At first glance, a good argument for why no one is born gay is that scientists have never pointed to any part of DNA or the human genome that would cause this. If it were genetic, it would also die out completely as a gene, since there is no way to pass it along through procreation. Furthermore, there is an increasing trend of percentage of those who have same-sex attraction; this proliferation is not possible if it were simply genetic. Lastly, if there were any evidence that it was genetic, the media would post this on every news channel and newspaper known to man to help advance this agenda.
Furthermore, even IF it WAS genetic, that does not allow one to act on sinful inclinations. God calls all of us to lives of holiness, so even if a person had same-sex attraction from birth, this disorder would just be a part of the original sin that marks our fallen nature. God gives us the grace to overcome all of this in the Redemption. Thus, even if one was born with same-sex attraction, they are still called to be holy and are given the grace to live in accord with God's will. Some say that this is too demanding. I respond by saying that I, studying to be a Catholic priest, am called to a life of celibacy. They often respond by saying that I chose this path. That is not accurate. I chose to follow God's will for me. When we do not follow God's will for us, we lead ourselves into sin. God does have a plan for each of us and even if someone was born with same-sex attraction (which I do not believe to be the case), they would still be called to live a life of holiness through celibacy, and God would give them the grace to do it!
It is important to remember that same-sex attraction is not the sin, only acting on it. We never condemn a person who is trying to live a celibate life in the midst of this difficulty. We do not even condemn a person who falls short of living a celibate life, because at the end of the day, we are called to show compassion, to love the sinner and hate the sin. Only God is the judge, but we do have a responsibility to call out (with both love and truth) sinfulness so that the person may convert and turn to God.
Lastly, it is important to note that we must dialogue without just trying to win the argument. Often times, when a person disagrees with us, they are emotionally charged and often have a close family member or friend who struggles with this. In such cases, we must make it clear that we have compassion and love for both them and their loved one who struggles with this, but also show our devotion to the truth - and our willingness to help others who are struggling when they ask us for help.
This is what a priest sent in reply to my questions