anonymous
  • anonymous
What do you guys think? Please be honest. Possible lyrics: And my heart is screaming; Wait come back 'cause I need you here tonight And my heart is screaming; Wait turn around 'cause I need you near to me I don't know how we got to where we are but I need to go back For the sake of you and I (wait come back)
Music
  • Stacey Warren - Expert brainly.com
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jamiebookeater
  • jamiebookeater
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Ghostgate
  • Ghostgate
What's the song title? Typically a lot of songs usually use the song title as apart of the chorus of their song, but overall it helps just to know. ;) I have to say it is interesting, but honestly there are a handful of things I caught: "Wait, turn around because I need you *close* to me" - Having 'near to me' doesn't sound right, in addition I think 'because' will work than just 'cause', but that's my opinion. I also feel that, "My heart is screaming" just kind of cuts out when it heads over into the other part, perhaps: (Is this the chorus or not? Usually the chorus has a repeat on words, but really I'm just wondering.) "And my heart is screaming, it's beating real fast, I can't seem to catch my breath, Wait come back, because I need you here tonight, Please don't go, for I fear that the night has just begun, And my heart is screaming, it's beating real fast, I can't seem to catch my breath, Wait come back, because I need you here tonight, Please don't go, for I fear that the night has just begun, I feel as if I'm losing you, please come back, I don't know how we got to where we are, but I need to go back, My heart is screaming, it's beating real fast, I can't seem to catch my breath, For the sake of you and I, I need to go back (Please wait, wait come back)" For those as lyrics to review, help, or use, because I don't really care honestly, I hope this helps you in someway! ;) - Have a great day! {---Ghostgate---}
anonymous
  • anonymous
@Ghostgate thank you so much for your feedback and your help. I haven't really decided what to title it but I was thinking "wait come back". :)
Ghostgate
  • Ghostgate
@kimbllse777 Yeah, I thought so, you used 'wait come back' in your lyrics quite a bit. Like I said earlier, the title of the song is usually what is seen or used frequently in the song, I would know because I've written song lyrics. ;) - Anyhow, I'm glad I helped! Have a great day! {---Ghostgate---}

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anonymous
  • anonymous
I might drop Wait and to, but it was still good.
Ghostgate
  • Ghostgate
@DeAnnaLEIGH Wait... for which parts exactly?
anonymous
  • anonymous
Actually keep wait." Wait turn around 'cause I need you near to me"
Ghostgate
  • Ghostgate
That would work, but I think, "I need you close to me" is better, I don't know, that's just a matter of preference.
MikeyMaximum
  • MikeyMaximum
Missing rhyme scheme...
Koikkara
  • Koikkara
@kimbllse777 why not give a emotional touch ? try to sing this with themes. \(\huge\mathcal{Whispers~in ~my~heart~ !}\) Ohh, My he-a-art, whispers to me , why i need you, only you to be beside me plz, turn around, coz i ne-ee-ed you I don't know how we me-ee-et long ago hey, Come back for me, o precious soul.. Heyyy, plz be back, Come back for me.. Music theme : Romantic SauerKraut ( Instrument: Acoustic Guitar Modification: @kimbllse777 lyrics
Ghostgate
  • Ghostgate
@ChantySquirrel1129** Wait, are you saying that she needs more rhyming or we both need more rhyming? Lol - Yeah, she had a great start, great potential honestly. Anyhow, I'm not sure if 'thanks' is really the suitable response when someone agrees with you, but... thanks anyway? Lol - Also, the name is 'Ghostgate' added together rather than apart, but I don't really mind. ;) {---Ghostgate---}

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